Babblin' on the Bayou

Camp NaNoWriMo

2011-07-02T12:01:00.000-05:00

Dude . . . I had no idea.

Camp NaNoWriMo

I've been playing around with a new idea in my head and making notes and doing my daily page (yeah, not three pages, just one, but it's a start), so this is actually perfect timing. It looks like it's just getting started, and all the fun tools and buttons aren't even in place yet. No distracting forums, so yay on that one!

Wanna join in the summer-o-writing-fun? Just sign in with your old NaNoWriMo login or create a new account. It doesn't look like there will be any word count widgets or anything until August, so whats the point, right? Who knows, but it's just the kick in the butt I need to maybe get a draft done this summer!

Well, at least you know where I'll be this summer. :)

Avoiding the Middle Ground

2011-03-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been living in the up or the down. Sort of by choice, sort of just the way I float. Nothing too extreme, after all, I'm still working on balance. Recently I've come to realize that my struggle with balance comes a lack of desire to live in that elusive middle ground. I like the ups and downs of life. Well, not so much the downs, but without them what good are those ups? Middle is boring. Tedious. Blah. So what I've really been doing is trying to force myself to live somewhere I don't want to be.

Don't get me wrong, I know it isn't healthy to live in extremes. I get that. But too long in the middle and I get antsy. I want to shake things up. That usually makes things better or worse, but either way things are different. And different, in my opinion, is good.

So here's the question. How is one to achieve peace or balance when one is constantly in a state of change? Even if I have some steady routines and rhythms to anchor myself (and I'm proud to say that I now have some pretty solid rhythms that I'm confortable with), everything around me is constantly changing. That's life. And if that's the case, does the universe really want me to be balanced? Ok, I realize that sounds ridiculous, but it really is bugging me. If life is about change and adaptation, how then is one to be balanced? Or, for that matter, what is balance? Maybe the definition is off, and maybe we're all reaching for something unattainable and that's why so many of us struggle with this. Maybe we need a new definition of balance or something new to strive for.

So tell me, what does balance mean to you?

40 Days of Nice

2011-03-09T15:35:00.000-06:00

I've been spending a lot of time lately trying to refocus my energy. Ok, who am I kidding? I'm trying to find any focus I can, forget REfocusing. I don't observe many religious traditions, and I certainly don't discuss what I do choose to observe or not observe. This year, however, I'm in the lenten mood. So, I'm doing 40 Days of Nice with my family. But it goes beyond being nice to one another. I'm also focusing the next few weeks on being nice to myself.

Writing my morning pages.
Eating fresh, healthy foods.
Exercising.
Spending lots of time outdoors.
Reading.
Taking time occasionally to just . . . be.

Manic Pre-March Madness

2011-02-16T18:26:00.000-06:00

Blame it on the absolutely gorgeous weather.

Blame it on kicking the sinus/allergy/cold/whatever-crawled-up-in-my-head-and-died crap to the curb. Finally.

Blame it on the excitement of planning our very first spring garden.

Blame it on the fact that homeschooling is going so gosh darn well.

Blame it on hormones and instability.

Whatever the reason, I'm back. Back to writing. Back to creating. Back to loving life. The only problem is that I can't get enough of it. I felt it distinctly kick in earlier this week. After a couple days of feeling decidedly better (thank you zyrtec, I swear I will be faithful now, I promise) coincided with a drastic change in weather, I remember not being able to sleep Sunday night. I stared up at the ceiling for hours, then woke around 4 a.m. and seriously considered creeping into the office to write. Great! Only, I knew better. If I did that, it would be only moments before my three foot shadow noticed my absence and pattered down the hall to find me. And THEN I'd be ticked. No, better to stare around and make plans. Lots of plans. Big freaking plans.

Aw hell, I can't remember what those plans were, but I'm still energized by it all. The windows in the house and car are wide open and I'm loving the energy around here. I started a new bag. Pink and brown. With guitars. I had to do the dreaded "Mark all as read," but I'll be making the blog rounds again. Swear. We took this week off of school to visit the zoo, play outside with friends, and start that garden. I'm gearing up to finish that draft I left hanging back in December, and I'm seriously considering moving my yearly first draft madness to the summer, since we won't be schooling and I can maybe breathe a little and finish for once.

I may be slightly manic. But that's ok. I really feel that animal frenzy from hibernating all winter and wanting to explode out into nature and produce something really special. Minus all that egg-laying.

What are your plans for spring? My list isn't long enough, so I need more project ideas. :)

(Oh, and if you're in a reader and haven't stopped by in a while, take a gander at the new background. It's nice and springy and I think I'll let it live here.)

Six Items or Less

2011-01-12T05:00:00.001-06:00

Have any of you seen the Six Items or Less challenge? Better yet, have any of you been ~~crazy~~ brave enough to take on the challenge? Basically, you pick six items from your wardrobe and wear only those six items for a month. Just to be clear, underwear and socks don't count, so please change those daily, ok? Thanks. Also, don't worry about taking up precious spots with jackets, shoes, or accessories. Those are freebies, too. So you might choose a dress, a pair of jeans, sweat pants, two t-shirts, and a sweatshirt. Or something like that. I can't imagine pulling this off back when I was working outside the house, but really, I think this is doable for me. Maybe.

Here's the thing. It's got me thinking. Really, I was already thinking about purging and scaling back in the closet, especially since I either don't fit in or don't wear much of the stuff in there anymore. I met someone once who told me she found a shirt pattern she liked, so at the beginning of the summer she made three shirts from that one pattern and that's all she wore. Super simple. I loved the sound of that. And I'm such a t-shirt and comfy pants kind of girl anyway. I could really scale back. Now, between the kids and all the baking/cooking I can't get away with wearing items multiple days between washing. That's just not going to happen anymore. But I'm thinking I can really simplify around here. Maybe a couple of outfits for at-home days, couple for errand/visiting days, and a couple of dressy outfits. You know, just in case I leave the house without a child attached to me. I have tons of old t-shirts crowding the closet. Really, I could probably go a month and not wear the same shirt twice. And I don't shop. Really, I don't. I've just acquired them all over the years, and most of them I don't even like because they don't fit well anymore. Or they never did in the first place. So why do I still have them? Who knows.

So, maybe I can change this challenge so it's more of a lifestyle change. You know, less of a diet and more of a healthy dressing plan. So instead of six items or less, I should change it to six outfits or less.

That's it. I'm convinced.
I'm going through my closet this weekend.
Who's with me?

Theme for 2011: CHOOSE

2011-01-01T18:07:00.000-06:00

For the past few years, I've kind of picked a theme to live by. See, I'm not big on resolutions. I love goals, but my goal lists can get out of hand. Plus, they change throughout the year. I need something simple, a word or phrase I can remember and apply to my life on a regular basis. One year I chose "Letting Go." I got pretty good at that one, but I still have to remind myself occasionally to just let things go. Last year was all about "Balance." About halfway through the year, I realized I was failing at that. Big time. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm failing at the balance thing. Maybe better than a year ago. I dont know. I can't really remember a year ago. Let's revisit those 2010 goals for a sec:

1. Submit novel. - no
2. Resume Freelancing. - no
3. Toddler Homeschooling - Yup. And (surprise, surprise) 2nd grade homeschooling, too.
4. Schedule More Grown-Up Time - Eh. Some. Probably better than the year before, but not much.

So, not great. But you know what? I'm ok with that. I'm letting it go. I learned so much more this year. Maybe I still need to work on balance in my life, but I'll get there. I'm not giving up on it. I'm just not beating myself over the head with it. I'm reading, and simplifying, and remembering what's important to me, and I'll find my balance one day. Or at least what balance looks like to me.

For this year, my theme is "Choose." I used to live by the motto, "Life is about choices." Really, it is. You're never as stuck as you feel. Usually that stuck feeling (for me, at least) comes from wanting two opposing things and not wanting to choose between them. Not even for a week or a month or a year. Well, I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to choose, on a daily basis. Here are some of the choices I hope to make this year:

Choose happiness.
Choose peace and simplicity.
Choose to laugh at myself and my mistakes.
Choose a passion. (Because being passionate about everything is exhausting. Focus on one thing at a time. Make a choice: What do you want to do today? Also, see #5.)
Choose to be present. Always.

I could go on, but you see where this is going, right? I've got my word and I'm sticking to it. And, with a little luck and focus, maybe in the midst of all these choices I'll find my balance, too.

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T07:48:00.000-06:00

Wishing you all peace and happiness. And a healthy supply of valerian. It's the only way I'm keeping my sanity and my TMJ under control (well, sort of) this week.

Also, I now highly recommend putting a few drops of tea tree and lavender oils in the bowl of steaming water you breathe over when you have a sinus infection. Best stuff ever. Seriously, you know the old what would you bring on a deserted island question? Well, I'm bringing tea tree and lavender oil. You can thank me later.

Blessings and valerian to all, and to all a good night!

Mind Clutter

2010-12-15T05:00:00.001-06:00

I've been reading a lot of Zen books lately. Since it seems this season of my life is focused on "letting go," I figure I need all the help I can get with that. Recently, I read a passage in Zen Parenting: The Art of Learning What You Already Know. The amazing thing is that the more I read the book, the more I found a lot of non-parenting messages. Like this little gem:

"Mind clutter includes all those things we would like to focus on if we ever had the time. When we don't focus on them, but focus on the need to focus on them they end up taking up a lot of mental space. They turn into nagging annoyances that cause us to look for excuses, thinking about when we will focus on them. Mind clutter causes us to leave the now where we should be living."

Is this a writer thing? A parent thing? A woman thing? We've become so good at multitasking and amassing guilt, that our brains spin out of control on a regular basis. We obsess about all the things we aren't doing at any particular moment, and that "mind clutter" leaves us unable to perform the real tasks we're doing in the now to the best of our abilities. We're so busy thinking about the tasks we want to do later - when we have more time or energy or money or whatever - that we just aren't present.

If we want to write, we should write. If we choose to do something else and write later, so be it. Write later, but live now. We're big girls and boys. We make choices. Personally, my challenge is making those choices. I leave several things in limbo, piddling around here and there, not doing anything really well. I need to get back to making choices, deciding what I want to do, and defining the seasons of my life.

For now, that means family time. I'm in hibernation mode. That means snuggling, eating, and reading at home and under as many blankets as possible. I want to enjoy the holidays and this quiet time in my life. I don't want to feel weighed down by half of an unfinished novel. So, I'm giving it two weeks. I'm not ruling out the potential for writing a little during the period of time, but I'm not going to focus on it. At all. I'm going to live in the now and enjoy this season of my life. In January, I'm going to pick up and move on and focus on finishing this draft. But, until then, I'm going to live in the now and let go.

5 Minute Fix

2010-12-07T15:18:00.000-06:00

Remember back last week when I said I was halfway through the draft and that I'd finish by the end of the year? Remember that? Yeah, um, that's not gonna happen. I'm still only about halfway through, and it looks like I'm on my way to another January finish this year. (Or would that be next year? Ugh.) I took off several days after some unexpected stress derailed me. Correction, I allowed some unexpected stress to derail me.

But that's ok. I'm all about practicing some zen and the art of letting go. So, I let it go. I spent the weekend enjoying my girls and a little fresh air therapy. It's what I needed. It's what I wanted. I don't regret a minute of not writing.

Now I'm ready to get back into the story. The problem, even though it's only been a few days, is that the story feels foreign. And I'm out of the habit. And I'm lazy. And I just don't want to. Whah. But it's not true. I really do want to write this story, and I know better than to buy into that crap. So what's a girl to do? Easy. Write.

My quick fix is usually five minute writing. I commit to five minutes a day. Now, I'm not going to get this story written in any reasonable amount of time in five minutes a day, but it fixes those self-defeating whiny messages. I can write for five minutes. Then I get to say, "I wrote today," which is a great motivator by itself. And after just a few minutes a day, I have a new habit. Which builds momentum. I always say, momentum is the best tool for a writer. Losing it sucks, and I usually try at all costs to keep it going, usually with those five minutes a day. Plus, after just a few days I get to know my story again, and five minutes quickly becomes ten, which then becomes twenty and thirty and more. So in just five minutes, I can fix all of those things I whined about in the previous paragraph.

But some days, I have trouble motivating myself for five minutes. It doesn't happen often, but some days I need a little extra motivation. A chocolate carrot. So, I'm curious. What do you do on those blah days? Whether it's writing, work, shopping with the kids, crafting, or whatever, how do you get motivated to do something you know you really want/need to do, but can't get past the blahs? What's your chocolate carrot?

No Rest For the Weary

2010-11-30T20:25:00.000-06:00

35,526

I'm ok with that. I'm about at the midpoint, minus a short scene or so. Considering I spent the last two weeks in pain, that's not too shabby. Turns out the TMJ pain - and subsequent tooth and face pain - was in part due to a pretty severe sinus infection. I'm still recovering, but definitely on the road to better. So I took off a few days due to pain and the holiday. Wednesday was awful. Thursday was a family day. Friday was a shopping day (barf - yay - ugh). Saturday was a quiet day filled with house decorating and loads of medication. Then, the baby got sick. Ok, so technically she's not a baby anymore, but she's my baby. And she was sick. So I gave up until yesterday. Shit happens. Especially in November. And I'm cool with that.

Now . . . on to the second half.

I get to write another one thousand six hundred-something words tomorrow. Because that's what we do. We write like hell when we can, and try not to abandon our loved ones along the way. So December is really all about finishing that damn book already, but also about taking time off to enjoy family and friends. It's about balance. Yeah, good luck with that.

Congrats to all the winners, and
Happy Novel Finishing Month everyone!!!

Sill Kicking

2010-11-24T08:05:00.000-06:00

I haven't given up. I'm battling a week of headaches after the pharmacy finally decided to say late on Friday, "Oh, hey, by the way, they're discontinuing this medication. You'll have to call your doctor on Monday for something different." Fine. Whatever. I've been meaning to try some new natural remedies and get off the stuff anyway. Fine. But then I had a massive TMJ flare-up over the weekend. Massive. Which didn't help the headaches. I spent several days with hot packs on my jaw. And no, I didn't get much writing done.

I am at about 30,000 words (I haven't been updating my progress bar) right now. Not too shabby. 50k is out of the question, but I'm always satisfied if I get 40k. For some reason that always feels doable. Oh sure, I can push myself and hit 50k, but at what cost? And why? I would still have to finish the draft in December. This whole first draft thing is a two month process. No matter what. 40k puts me about halfway through the draft and doesn't give me that burnout feeling, so I can still push ahead and finish the darn thing the next month. So I'm taking it easy for the next couple of days and limiting my screen time (that's probably aggravating the headaches) and getting a grip on my pain and stress levels. I'll work through it, but that's part of what November's all about.

Shit happens. What can you get done in the midst of it? Because there will always be shit. You just have to wade through the mess and push yourself.

I hope all of you are having a productive NaNoWriMo.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Burn 'Em

2010-11-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

Like my current wallpaper?

That's right, burn them all.

Writing is fun.

I try to remember that as much as possible.

Need a change of scenery or a little spark? Visit the NaNoWriMo forums and find a wallpaper that gives you a little kickstart for week two.

What other tricks work for you? How do you get unstuck?

Saturday Snippet: NaNoWriMo 2010 Week 1

2010-11-06T06:00:00.006-05:00

How's everyone hanging in so far? I'm a little behind, but I'm pretty sure I can catch up and maybe get ahead this weekend. Also, I received some pretty sad news yesterday (nothing that directly affects me, just sad stuff), so I'm having a hard time getting excited about much of anything at the moment. Instead of a real post, I'm throwing out a little piece of what I wrote so far. This entire first chapter will probably get ripped out, and the first scene is actually so awful that I didn't even want to look at the file. This isn't good, but it's better than the awfulness that is the previous scene. It's all really, really bad first draft stuff, but that's ok. The first step is admitting the problem. I'll write better later.

(As always, all following material falls under copyright laws and is not to be reproduced anywhere in any form. If you break said laws, Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and the gators will hunt you down. It's also probably an early draft and therefore filled with typos that I don't care to acknowledge just yet.)

-----

“So, the girlfriend wasn’t there?” Ryan asked.

“Yep, she was there. Not very helpful, but extremely interesting.” Simon smiled remembering her crazy green, glittered toes and that wild mess of copper curls on her head and how she thought he was . . . well, he still wasn’t sure who she thought he was, but clearly he wasn’t what she expected.

“Wait, you talked to her? Did she really not know anything or was she just uncooperative?”

Simon shook his head. “I think she’d like to get her hands on this guy as much as we would like to. Apparently, she’s not the girlfriend we need to be talking to at the moment.”

“Ouch,” Ryan said. “Wait, is she still at the lab? Shouldn’t we be waiting there or following her in case she’s lying.”

“No,” Simon chuckled. “She wasn’t lying. No one is that good an actress. Besides, we don’t need to follow her.” He flicked at the GPS screen with the back of his finger. “We know exactly where she’s going right now. We can follow her while you make a few calls and get me a little more current intel on where this guy might be staying and who this new girlfriend is.”

“Ok, so she’s going to mail something,” Ryan said when she saw the location Simon had plugged into the machine. “Shouldn’t we hurry to get there before she leaves for some other place and we lose her?”

Simon smiled and said, “No hurry. There’s one post office between here and her house and I promise you she won’t even beat us there with a two minute head start.”

“How the hell do you figure that?” Ryan asked, doubting Simon’s claim as he located a number in his phone and made a call.

“Easy,” said Simon. “Trust me, this girl doesn’t play politics. There’s no way she has priority parking. We could take a nap and still be at that post office before she even gets to her car.”

Ryan shook his head. “Your logic amazes me sometimes.”

“Yeah, me too,” Simon agreed. “Now stop kissing my ass and find me a girlfriend.”

Happy NaNo-vember!

2010-11-01T21:10:00.000-05:00

Somehow, despite whining, crying, shouting, sugar-high kids (one of which is slightly ill, and not the sugar kind of ill), I managed to crank out 2,000 words this evening. Go me. Sorry if I'm too exhausted to get more excited than that. But I crossed the first hurdle. I wrote that painful first scene. And I did plotting and the plot bunnies did not eat my brain. Yet. It ain't over yet.

But I got the distinct pleasure that comes with updating my NaNoWriMo word count for the first time.

And so it begins.

I forgot to mention it before, but if any of you on the official site want to add me as a buddy, my username is MichelleH. I love to see how everyone else is doing too. Good luck to everyone participating this year!

Happy November!!!

NaNoWriMo Prep 2010

2010-10-28T08:07:00.000-05:00

Not even a week to go and I've got . . . squat.

I guess that's not entirely true. I have two character's voices clearly chatting it up in my head. I also have a hint of a plot floating around in there too. So I guess that counts for something. Not much, but something.

If you're new to NaNoWriMo, and especially if you have something annoying in your life like a job or a partner or children who demand your attention, there are a few things you can do to prepare for the inevitable battles for your time and energy - none of which you will have left by week three.

Stock up on coffee, tea, soda, wine, chocolate, carrot sticks and any other mouth-goodies that make you happy or keep you sane when you are nervous.
Buy treats for meeting predesignated word count goals (yes, like dog treats for obedience, it's ok, you'll get over the shame of it all later). November 1st means after Halloween discount candy sales.
Find a crock pot. And recipes. Make a meal plan and shop for the month.
Set your DVR or subscribe to your favorite shows for free on Hulu.com. You won't have time to watch them in November, and if you plan ahead they'll be waiting for you in December when everyone else is complaining about reruns.

Easy enough, right? Now for the actual writing preparation:

Morning Pages - I haven't done these in ages, but they do clear my head and get all the junk out before a first draft. I don't write three pages, though. I usually write one page front and back, or until I have an idea or a focus for what I want to do or figure out during that day. They also bring me back to the habit of writing. My five minutes a day easily becomes ten, then fifteen, and pretty soon I'll be warmed up and ready for the 1 1/2 - 2 hours a day I need for next month.

Alexandra Sokoloff's Story Elements Checklist - Instead of writing individual scene cards for a first draft, I put each of these elements on a separate index card (a different color for each act). Then I post only Act One cards on my bulletin board when I start writing, and I make notes on the cards as I go along or as new ideas come to me. When I'm done with Act One, those come down and Act Two cards go up on the board. I continue like that throughout the first draft, and I've found this really helps me stay focused on the key elements I want to include. Plus, when I'm stuck, I can just pick a card and jump ahead to a scene that deals with that element.

Desktop Wallpaper - I have a folder full of the ones I liked. This way, when it starts to look like . . . well, wallpaper, or I need a boost or change of mood, I can switch to a new one easily. It was a nice time suck, too.

Scrivener - Sorry, for now this is Mac only. BUT if you PC users "win" NaNoWriMo this year, you will receive 50% off the Windows version which should be available early next year. Rock on! I believe there is a beta version available for pc, but seriously, do you want that kind of stress during NaNo? I'd advise against the beta for now.

Sam/C.J.'s Will Write For Wine charts - Spreadsheets give me the willies when I'm drafting. That said, these are great. I usually hold off on the spreadsheets until later, but there are some word docs that I use to figure out the goal, motivation, and conflict for my main characters and narrow down those central story questions. And if you haven't had the pleasure of listening to the podcasts, download a few for next month. They're a hoot, not to mention extremely helpful.

Alternative reading - I can't read someone else's fiction when I'm drafting. I want to, but it mucks things up in my head. So instead I keep some philosophy (I have a book by the Dalai Lhama waiting for me at the moment), writing craft (just finished Bird by Bird, so I might reread King's On Writing), or educational/parenting books around for the month. Not that I have a whole lot of time to read, but I don't like to completely abandon the habit.

Flash drives. 'Nuff said.

If you're interested in seeing prep lists from previous years, here they are:
NaNoWriMo Survival Kit 2009
NaNoWriMo 2008 Prep

Everything Really Is Better With Bacon

2010-10-26T08:34:00.000-05:00

You know what's the best part about book research? The random, unrelated nonsense you stumble upon. For example, this little gem:

Adventures in Drug Smuggling

Yep, Bacon.

I wasn't researching jailhouse heroin-syringe-burrito smuggling (not even researching regular old drug smuggling), but I just couldn't pass up the article. Well worth the laugh this morning.

Yes, I'll have the Giant Cocaine Squid, please.
With a side of Smoked Monkey.

Ew.

Some people's children.

NaNoWriMo 2010

2010-10-21T14:15:00.001-05:00

Yep, I've officially lost my mind. No need to ask.

Actually, I was perfectly content to skip NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year. Not even some lousy 20k goal. Just skip it. Then I received one of those lovely pep talks in my inbox. The pep talk itself didn't change my mind, but it did remind me of the Young Writers Program that NaNoWriMo offers. After doing a little reading, planning, downloading, and printing, I fully committed myself to helping my seven year old write a novel of her own next month. (You can find the post about that and all the neat stuff the YWP offers over on our homeschooling site. ) Still, I planned to skip it myself. Then, as I helped her through character development and goal-setting and all the prewriting fun, I just couldn't help myself. My poor little brain went into overdrive creating characters whose voices I'd been ignoring for weeks. And now they won't shut up. Woe. Is. I.

So, what's a girl to do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do NaNoWriMo again, damn it. And I'm gonna like it. Even if it kills me. That's half the fun, right? I'm looking forward to sharing it with my daughter this year, actually. So far she's pretty pumped about it. And I wrote my first morning pages today. Gosh, it's been a while. And it felt pretty damn good, too.

What about you? Who's throwing sanity to the wind along with me next month?

The Holy Grail of Boobs

2010-10-12T05:00:00.000-05:00

Forgive me for not posting last week. I was doubly busy. First, we had a little field trip to the Houston Space Center. I'm not much of space gal, but it was pure awesomeness. Second, I was busy questing. Shopping questing. Worse than jeans. A close second to swimsuits.

(Those of you with a Y chromosome may want to take this opportunity to exit stage left until I post again later this week.)

That's right, bra shopping. The damn things are torturous but necessary, an unfortunate combination. Now, I have to confess that I'm on the small side, so most days I run around the house without one, or at best I'll just wear a nursing tank during the summer. But when I leave the house, I need a little something extra. And we've been out of the house more lately (who knew homeschooling would lead to more interaction with people), and I don't want to scare new people off with my bralessness. And if I actually want to look nice in a shirt, I like a little extra umph under there, know what I mean?

So . . . bra questing.

Usually, such questing leads to tears and frustration. They say you just need to measure properly and buy the right size, but it isn't that simple. We aren't all the same few numbers (half sizes, anyone?), and even if we were, that doesn't take differences in shape into account. I can try on ten bras in the same exact size and leave with none that fit properly. And even those that fit are usually unacceptable, because they're uncomfortable or make me look like a twelve year old trapped in an eight year old's body. Sure, no one else needs to see it, but it's disheartening to start your day off looking at that in the mirror.

But I'm happy to report, I completed my bra quest successfully last week! We have comfort, fit, and style all in one bra, AND it's one of those invisible/seamless jobs. At $15. BONUS! Because really, at this point, I think I would have paid $150 for one. I bought all the ones they had in my size. I'm sure that by the time I need more, the manufacturer will have gone out of business or they will have changed the line completely and I'll be starting from scratch. Again. But I don't care right now. I won. I found the Holy Grail of boobs. And mine they are a-happy!

Problem Solved

2010-09-30T05:00:00.003-05:00

The more I thought about last week's problem, the more I realized I just didn't need more stuff. I liked the idea of keeping some clothes to show the kids what I wore, but . . . eh. I keep a lot of things for them (blankets, clothes, loveys, etc.), and I didn't feel like keeping clothes was going to be that impressive to them . . . or if it was, it wasn't worth it at the risk of my sanity. Still . . . I had the whole issue of not wanting to get rid of them even though I felt like I really needed to.

Then I became obsessed with New Dress A Day.

Problem . . .

. . . meet solution.

I had visions of turning ALL of my old maternity clothes into wearable closet staples, but after a disastrous fight with a half-lining on a knit shirt and the nausea I felt every time I touched the funky polyester on what used to be a favorite maternity sundress, I settled for one good shirt. And it is a good shirt. Granted, it was an Old Navy t-shirt that ran a bit small for a maternity shirt anyway making it fairly easy to alter . . . still, I did it. I sewed and cut and made it mine.

Apparently, that's all I needed. One good shirt in my closet. Because the rest are in a bag ready for Goodwill. I don't need them, and I feel absolutely no anxiety about it anymore. Whatever works, right?

Problem freaking solved.

I rock.

Letting Go or Commitment Phobia?

2010-09-24T05:00:00.038-05:00

This was meant to be a writing post. I swear, this was going to be The One. Because I'm ready, I have the itch, and I want to scratch it with a new story.

But something happened on the way to the computer.

I've been cleaning and decluttering. Slowly, I'm letting things go. Or at least boxing them up. But today, I hit the bedroom for my fifteen minutes of cleansing, and I tackled the box under the bed labeled "maternity." I forgot the damn box was even under there. But, there it was, mostly empty, because I purged a lot after Harper was born. I only kept a few favorite items. You know, just in case. Actually, not even just in case. Because I was done. I AM done. For many reasons.

Reason One: I'm tired. We don't make easy kids. (Does anyone, really? Don't answer that, it won't make me feel better.) My first never napped more than fifteen minutes at a time, and my second gave up naps at eighteen months. Neither slept through the night. Ever. And they both have . . . issues. (I know, don't we all?) Food issues, sleep issues, sensory issues, allergy issues . . . it's all just so exhausting most days. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my kids. I also would like to keep it that way, and I can't say that a third at this point wouldn't upset our already precarious balance.

Reason Two: Hey look, this IS writing-related after all! I feel like I can almost breathe again. Like we're reaching that next stage where they can function a little without me, opening up space for me to be me. Which means writing. Sewing. More writing. Sure I can (and do) do these things with them crawling around, but it's so much easier and I can get so much MORE of it done as they get older. I don't really want to start over again.

Reason Three: I don't do pregnant well. Oh, sure, I've got those birthing hips. But they don't help much when I lose weight instead of gain it. We're not talking a little sick here. I get violently ill for most of the pregnancy, and lose weight rapidly, and I have other complications in the end . . . at some point I feel like I'm pushing my luck with the whole healthy mom & baby thing.

So, yeah, I'm done.

I know why I kept those items back then. It's hard to calm the hormonal surge shortly after you have a baby. Even if you KNOW, its hard to admit you know. And I know. I'm done. Still, keeping those three shirts, two pairs of pants, and one swimsuit made me feel better. Why? Is it a control thing? Is it because I like having choices and options (Oh, I DO!)? Is it because something deep inside me still wants a third even against all reason? Honestly, I don't think that's it. Could it really just be about letting go?

It doesn't make sense. I'm so good at letting things go. I'm not a clutter keeper. I don't normally have emotional attachments to things. I love change. I love entering new phases of my life. I guess I have this need to keep the door behind me open . . . just a crack. A girl needs an exit strategy, you know.

Then it hit me.
It's a commitment issue.

It shouldn't come as a surprise. Back in the day, I kept a three-month expiration date on relationships. I was a professional major-hopper in college. I make big purchases with no fear or hesitation, because I always remember there will be another house/tv/car/etc. one day, so the decision isn't permanent. I didn't put the deep thought into deciding to have children in the first place, because while they're family forever, they don't live with you forever.

But deciding not to have any more children - ever - is a lifelong commitment. It's not even that I'm afraid I might change my mind. I've already done the letting go in my mind. Sure all the sling babies I see around town are adorable and tug at my heart so much that I miss my own sling baby, but I don't want a new one. No, I don't think I'll change my mind on this one.

But I want the option to be able to change my mind.

See, commitment issues.

So now I'm stuck with a stack of clothes I know I'll never wear, don't want to wear again, but since I refuse to get rid of them, I need to find a place for them to live. Where they can taunt me forever.

See?
I am so messed up.

Nothing to See Here

2010-09-15T05:00:00.017-05:00

You get filler today.

I had two deadlines this week, a house to clean, bugs to kill, a birthday to prepare for, and a party to plan. Oh yeah, and a room to paint.

And people, it is pink.
I mean pepto freaking pink.
My kid.
Wanted a pink room.
Go figure.

But wait . . . it isn't your ordinary pink room . . .

Gotta love that kid. :)

We're off celebrating my firstborn's seventh birthday today.

The rest of the week can wait!

What could you do for $5?

2010-09-10T05:00:00.018-05:00

Have you seen fiverr yet? This has to be the most bizarre (yet completely fascinating!) maintream site I've seen in a long time. I don't count crasigslist, because while it can be quite useful, the site usually makes me feel icky and dirty. Fiverr is on the verge of creeping me out. Maybe I'm just a sucker for cute colors and quirkiness.

Most of the things other people will do for $5 revolve around photography, advertising, social media sites, or web design. (Ahem, guess where all your spammers are coming from now.) But oh, don't think it stops there. Here are some of my favorites:

I will make you a pair of duct tape flip flops for $5 - Have you seen the cost of duct tape lately? This is a steal!
I will write your English name in Chinese for $5 - Could have saved me the annoyance of having to see the Chinese character for "fuzzy little animal" on my hip for the rest of my life.
I will write you a poem dealing with any occasion for $5 - Best poetry marketing ever. Really, poets don't make squat. It's very sad.
I will answer any question on Dubai for $5 - There is a market for this?
I will write your website name in my arm for $5 - Um, ok dude. I'll think about it. Might be worth the five bucks just to make you do it. Dude's gonna be 85 years old with fifty nonexistent websites tattooed on his arm.
I will give you the secret recipe for the best italian pizza ever for $5 - You lost me when you began it with "I'm Italian . . ." Still, I am hungry for pizza . . .

Then it got me thinking. What can I do that I could charge five bucks for? I could write something. No, that's just way too easy and predictable. I need something that's going to stand out. Something five bucks flashy. Like duct tape. I could go the Italian guy route and sell my cajun recipes. But really, I give those out for free. Heck, I'll even cook it and give you a bowl/plate of food for free. So, food's out.

I need to think on this a little more. In the meantime, it's sharing time. Keeping it clean, what could you do for $5?

Romance Writing for the Unromantic

2010-09-03T05:00:00.097-05:00

If you came here looking for tips, sorry. I got nothing for you.

If you came here to watch me writhe and cringe as I try to come to terms with how horribly unromantic I am and why a person like me would ever in a gazillion years even want to write romance of any form . . . well you, my friend, are in luck!

by MeganDarling

I am not exaggerating when I tell you I am probably the most unromantic person you'll ever meet. Or is it non-romantic? Do you know that I actually spend a great deal of time looking that up, because wandering the internet looking for the answer to unromantic vs. non-romantic is so much less painful than admitting how dead I am inside. (Too dramatic?) I did not, by the way, get a definitive answer, and I think Mr. Google and the dictionaries of the world should really get their shit together on this one.

At my very core, I am a realist. I believe most fairy tales are a crock and they set up unrealistic expectations for little girls (they also inspire a complete lack of motivation to do a damn thing for yourself, but that's another post for another day). I also am not a big believer in Happily Ever After. As a little girl, I never dreamed of meeting my Prince Charming, I never had fantasies about my wedding day, and marriage and kids and romance weren't really in the plan. I can open my own doors, buy my own chocolate, and open my own bank account, thank you very much.

Oh, and flowers die.

Then, they stink.

When I first began writing seriously, I read and wrote a lot of literary-type fiction. Serious stuff. Messy stuff. With realistic endings.

I was miserable.

Then I started reading fantasy again. Then a little chick lit. Then some romantic comedies and romantic mysteries, and oh boy, I was in a mess of trouble then. At some point, I had to admit I liked the HEA (Happily Ever After). I knew in my head it was all so unrealistic, but I didn't care. I liked it. It made me laugh and smile, and damn it I had enough reality in my life. When I read for pleasure, I need a break. So, I slip into a big glass of denial and pretend the world isn't perfect but everyone ends up happy anyway, and I am perfectly ok with that.

It took a little longer to admit that I wanted to try writing romance, but when I did I had another revelation.
Writing was fun again.

The last couple of years have been all about giving myself permission to write what I enjoy, and learning to let go and trust my voice and the stories I have to tell. So far, it's going pretty well. It's actually comforting to know your story is going to have a happy ending (even if you may have some carnage and lose a few people along the way) while you're writing it.

Writing romance has affected how I look at the world, too. I still think flowers die then stink, but I have to admit they sure are purty and I love having them around while they're alive. I can still buy my own chocolate, but nothing's quite as romantic as my husband running out to the new Chinese place at 8pm during a football game (a Saints game) to pick up food for me because I got busy fixing dinner for the kids and wasn't hungry earlier and kind of forgot to eat. And you know what else? I cried all through P.S., I Love You. There, I said it. I still can't watch it without sobbing uncontrollably through most of the movie. And I'm ok with that.

I'm never going to be that sappy girl that cries at weddings or swoons over Clooney-types. That's not me. But I can maybe accept the fact that I am not completely unromantic. I'm just not stereotypically romantic. And that's ok. Maybe it's even better, because it's me. It's different, and I can use that in my writing. But I may need to take more care to nurture my quasi-romantic side when I'm writing - buy some pretty daisies for my desk (I am so not a roses girl), have a late sushi night or two on the couch with my husband after the kids have gone to bed, or put on some sexy clothes that actually make me feel good instead of like an exhausted homeschooling mom wearing her housecleaning clothes every day. It's about the little things that make me feel good, and I need to tap into those more regularly when I'm writing if I want things to come more naturally.

Needless to say, reading lots of good romance helps, too.

World of Chorecraft

2010-08-30T05:00:00.003-05:00

Oh, my gosh.

I had to share this.

Having trouble getting your roommate to do the dishes?
Want your husband to clean out the garage?
Wondering how you can talk your kids into cleaning their rooms?

Check out Chore Wars (or the secondary site, World of Chorecraft). It's a D&D style site that lets you create characters to complete quests and compete for experience points to go up levels by completing the chores (quests) you set up for them.

I shit you not.

I really wish my kids were older, because I know my house would be ridiculously clean in no time!

Taking Notes

2010-08-23T05:00:00.001-05:00

I just read a section from of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird on taking notes. The section was actually titled "Index Cards" and I assumed incorrectly that she would discuss how to use index cards to organize your writing, the same way many of us use them for scene cards, notes on characters, etc. Instead, she uses them for random notes - observations, story ideas, quotes, and other bits of stuff she comes up with throughout the day. She said she does keep notebooks in purses and around the house, but when she doesn't carry a bag with a notebook, she always keeps an index card folded in her back pocket with a pen. This really struck me, because I always assume that if something is important I will remember it. Of course, I rarely remember anything. My brain is broken. As if children and the natural aging process hadn't done me in already, this whole homeschooling thing has my brain on overdrive all the time. I'm constantly thinking of potential subjects, books, movies, projects, and everything else we could possibly do. I'm overloaded with information, and there isn't much room left in my brain to freely explore writing inspiration. So when an idea does hit me, it exits as quickly as it arrived. So I'm thinking about carrying an index card in my pocket too. Oh, and using it. Alright, I'm officially not thinking about it. I'm going to do it.

But this is just the first step. You see, this is how my writing life is going at the moment:

I'm bored with editing. I haven't touched my last project in weeks. Maybe months.
I'm thinking about NaNoWriMo in November.
I'm not thinking about any particular story ideas that I could use in November or any other month.
I'm thinking instead about how my life will look in November and how I can swing a writing month and still continue homeschooling.
I'm wondering if I can enroll both kids in school for just a month.
I'm considering freelancing again in exchange for pennies and aneurysms.
I'm wondering how I'm ever going to write again if I can't see worth a crap. (Apparently, old lady hormone surges mess with my vision just like they did when I was pregnant. My ob/gyn assured me I was not having pregnancy stroke and that she couldn't wear her contacts for 5 or 6 months. I tried reading glasses, but they didn't unblur anything; just made everything a bigger blur.)

So you see, I'm all over the place, and none of this is good.

I know how to get momentum back, how to train myself for writing like training for a marathon. A little bit each day. I can do that. But I'm not even there yet. I don't have the motivation. I need to train myself to think like a writer again.

So, index card in pocket, I'm taking notes. In a couple of weeks, when I'm anxious to do something with all of these notes, my brain will be ready, and I'll have a stack of cards ready to go. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

Eat, Pray, Love: The Verdict

2010-08-16T12:07:00.000-05:00

First things first. The book club gathering was wonderful. I always feel so left out with the other mommies get together for game night sans kids, and I usually miss out for one reason or another. This was an easy late afternoon gathering followed by dinner, on a day Ken was home and it didn't keep me out too late. So nice.

Bonus: I actually read the book the book club read.

That never happens. Ok, so I cheated a little, since I read the book last year (I think it was last year . . . ). Still, I'm counting it. It COUNTS, damn it. I watched the movie then had pizza and participated in an intelligent conversation about a book I actually read. Awesomeness.

Now, for the verdict.

It wasn't as bad as I anticipated. Then again, I didn't hold out much hope that it wouldn't suck. Julia Roberts did a good job, but she was still Julia Roberts. I don't know. I have issues with casting in movies, and I thought this one could have been better served by a lesser known actress in the lead. With the popularity of the book, they still would have made assloads of money. And they wouldn't have had to pay a ridiculous sticker price for Julia Roberts. Money would have still been made. Lots.

Lora was right. The beginning was just plain awful. The husband was just flakey instead of a typical man-child that we can relate to. We lost our connection with Liz and her struggle, so she came off bored and irresponsible. I hated that. So many of the book's thought-provoking lines were in there, but they lost their power due to the treatment of the people and events involved.

I think I cried through the first fifty pages or so of the book, then I laughed through the rest. The movie? It did the opposite. It tried to draw everyone in with laughter in the beginning, then forced drama with made up stories and events in the middle.

In the GOOD column, everyone agrees: the guy who played Richard was phenomenal. Really, he nailed it. Nothing more to say about that. Kudos to him. And the casting director, I suppose.

Also, I liked Philippe. When I read the book, Philippe always seemed to me to be some kind of cross between sleepy and drunk. He was exactly as I imagined. Only younger. Then again, Julia Roberts is older than Elizabeth Gilbert was when she took this journey. So if they had casted her correctly, they would have had a perfect pair. (And no, I'm not going to let the Julia Roberts casting thing go any time soon.)

Overall, I enjoyed it, but it didn't blow me away. I'd give it 3 stars. Worth a watch. I'm usually more inclined to watch so-so movies at home on video and save the price of a movie ticket, popcorn, and babysitter for really great films that need to be seen on the big screen (usually this eliminates all dramas and comedies), but I'd put this one in the "see it in the theater if you can" category. Why? It's gorgeous. Of course, I already want to live in France and travel across Europe, which includes strolling through those gorgeous streets in Italy, but now I really, really, really want her house in Bali. Oh my goodness. I think I could actually meditate for more than five minutes in a place like that.

So, to sum it up:
Julia Roberts - bad casting call
beginning - sucked ass
mood - you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll owe your S.O. big time for going with you
Richard - rocks!
visuals - beautiful, see it just for that

Why I'm Going to Hate Eat, Pray, Love

2010-08-14T05:00:00.043-05:00

(Don't worry. No major spoilers here if you haven't read the book or watched the movie.)

For the record, loved the book. I hate to say it changed my life. How about we say it was a nice smack upside the head. And it was exactly what I needed to read at the time I read it.

Ok, disclaimer over.

I am going to hate this movie.

Yes, there's the whole "The book is always better than the movie," thing, and the "I read the book first, so I liked that better," thing, but it's way more than that. Way more. Here are four reasons I'm fairly certain I'm going to hate this movie.

1. Julia Roberts.
Even if she was my favorite actress of all time, I'd still think she is just plain wrong for this movie. Elizabeth Gilbert represents every woman who's found herself crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night and wanted to run away for a year to sort of reboot her life. Julia Roberts is too recognizable to be an everywoman. She's Julia Roberts. In no universe do I feel like I can relate to Julia Roberts. I'm not stupid, I know it's a role. But still, it's freaking Julia Roberts. It's too distracting and overpowering and the movie will inevitably lose a key component of what made the book great.

2. They never should have made a movie in the first place.
If you've read the book, you know that part of its charm lies in the writing. It's all about Elizabeth Gilbert's voice and her honesty. That rarely (if ever) translates well to film. Take that away, and it's just a sad woman eating a lot of pasta and meditating. Crap. Who wants to watch two hours of that?!

3. It's pasta and meditation.
Oh, I loved reading about it all. But again, do I want to watch someone eat pasta and meditate for two hours? Um, no. More importantly, do I want to watch Julia Roberts eat pasta and meditate for two hours? Um, double no.

4. It's not in 3-D.
Okay, you get the joke, right? I have never actually been to a 3-D movie, and I don't plan on it. The end. Still, they would have made a killing with half a movie's worth of pizza and pasta in 3-D, don't ya think?

Ultimately, I hope I'm wrong, but I'm not holding out much hope. I considered skipping it all together, but since I need a mommy night out, I'm going to watch it Sunday with a bunch of friends from our MOMS Club and eat Italian after to discuss the movie vs. the book. Even if I'm right and it sucks ass, at least I'll have good company and good food to wash it all down.

My Writing Space

2010-08-10T12:04:00.002-05:00

In my last post, I talked about how we define ourselves, and I loved hearing all of your responses. I figured, since you know I didn't put my diplomas up on the wall, that I should probably show you what is up there. Oh, and that mysterious paint color. I gave you a peek a while back, and some of you saw it over on our homeschool blog when I talked about our homeschooling spaces.

Personally, I love seeing where people work, especially writers, crafters, and other creative types. One of my favorite writer photos is of Hemingway writing in his Key West studio, surrounded by books, six-toed cats, and windows opening out to the beauty of the island. I don't have Key West, but here's where I write anyway:

Some homeschooling stuff has invaded the space, but I managed to keep enough blank wall to fully enjoy the new color.

A little cluttered still, but I need everything within easy reach. If it really bothers me, I can always take the laptop somewhere else.

Ah, my sanity wall. Yep, the bulletin board now has teaching-kid-type boarder, but it's fun and colorful and I can still put my story cards on it. You know, when I lose my mind and do NaNoWriMo again. This year.

(Did I really just say that?)

Defining Oneself

2010-07-27T05:00:00.003-05:00

An interesting topic came up this weekend while we were reassembling the office (pics of the new color and layout coming soon . . . just waiting for a good lighting day). I put my foot down and insisted that my work/creative space would resemble a boy's dorm room again. Yes, I share the space with my husband and kids, but it's the only space that I consider mine. Ken has his own work bench AND a shop out back which he can clutter with whatever he chooses. The kids each have their own rooms. All of the other spaces in this house are shared. And, by the way, I don't hang girly curtains or put flowered quilts on the bed, and I always consult the rest of the family on color choices for those shared spaces. I need a space that's mine. Or at least mostly mine. I don't want to look at someone else's cluttered corner while I'm trying to write. I like blank stretches of wall - especially if they're painted a pretty color - and empty desk tops. It keeps my mind happy and focused. I'm crazy like that.

So this led to a lot of decision making. What would go back up on the walls, and what needed to get stored in boxes and drawers? Eventually, we got to the box containing our diplomas. Ken put his up, then asked where I would like mine.

In the box.

He thought I'd lost my mind, but it was such an instinctive reaction. I didn't need them up anymore. He said he was hanging his because he was proud of his diplomas. I insisted that I was proud of mine too, just like I was proud of a lot of other accomplishments that have had their symbols or completion certificates filed away in boxes and drawers over the years. Just because I'm not displaying it doesn't mean it didn't happen or that I don't acknowledge the achievement of that goal.

The decision not to display them was easy. I decided when we painted that I only wanted things back on the wall that served a purpose (bulletin and white boards) or inspired me. The diplomas do neither. They don't inspire me because they are the past. I need to set goals for my present and future, not live in the past. They also don't serve a purpose. Sure, if I had clients walking in an office and they needed to see that I have a B.S. in Anthrolology or a B.A. in English to feel I'm qualified for a job I hold (um, yeah, that's going to happen), then I would definitely hang them up. But I don't need either to raise my kids, teach them, or write. The experiences of achieving both degrees has shaped me, but the key here is that I don't define myself by those degrees.

Which brings us to the question: How do you define yourself? I think it has a lot to do with how you fill out your profile - I'm a mother, a writer, a crafter, etc. - but I know I'm also so much more than that. You are also what you love - bright colors, books, order, index cards. I've been struggling this week (well, most of the month, really) with feeling very utilitarian as a result of an endless string of health issues in the house. I'm a wife, a mother, a teacher . . . but those things can leave me feeling flat and used up without the other stuff. It's really nice to sit in my space and see the things that make me happy and to see all the reminders of what I'm all about. I can define myself any way I want in this space, and that, my friends, makes me happy. I may not have found my balance yet, but I'm finding me.

Struggling with Balance

2010-07-23T05:00:00.055-05:00

Balance was my big lesson I wanted to learn this year. So far, I'm a slow learner.

Two months ago, I had plans. Big ones. I was going to rewrite this novel over the summer, sew on the weekends and open an etsy shop, and if we decided to homeschool, then we'd fit that in too. I had just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love, so I added meditation and practicing yoga again. I was going to do more for myself and have more fun. Two months ago, I had big plans.

One month ago, I still had plans. At that point, I believed in them a little less, as things during the summer are always chaotic around here, but I still had an enormous amount of hope for those plans. I just added a good bit of self-doubt to the mix.

Fast forward to this month. I am officially failing. Oh, not at the stuff that counts. We are relatively healthy, homeschooling is going well (better than expected at this point, actually), our bills are paid, and we have a home and food and all of the essentials. But my plans . . .

I thought I could do it all. Deep down, I still believe I can. Or at least I can't let go of the idea that I can do it all. I go over and over that list, and there is nothing I want to give up. I want to do all of those things, and I believe that I should be able to do them all.

And then it hits me.

The should police, just said "should."

That's what's eating me up. Because there is no such thing as should. And if there is, so what? What does it mean? Exactly nothing. We do what we can, and we let go of the rest. Or we put them in a "someday" box we can revisit again when we have the desire and means to add something to our lives. Life is about choices, and right now I'm choosing not to choose. Which, if you haven't tried it, let me tell you . . . it's just plan bad. By choosing not to choose, I'm floating around in this chaos and self-loathing (which is never fun) and not getting anything done. If I put my big girl pants on and make a choice or two - prioritize, for crying out loud - then I might actually accomplish something that I really want to accomplish.

Time to cowbetty up and make some choices, I guess.

When All You Can Do Is Laugh

2010-07-20T15:02:00.000-05:00

I got nothing. Sick little kid. Migraine. Rewriting a painful first scene. Still putting stuff back in the office. Stick a fork in me, folks.

But when you can't do anything else, you can still laugh.

Today I'm sharing my current laugh-crack. Awkward Family Photos. I got to page 8 of their Hall of Fame and couldn't breathe.

I must confess, this one could have been taken from my house. Instead of two little boys make it two little girls and that's a typical scene around here.

Enjoy.
:)

Dive In

2010-07-13T14:17:00.000-05:00

Guess what I did this weekend . . .

I'll give you a hint . . .

It was on my List of Wants . . .

Here's another hint . . .

The color is "Dive In" and yes I want to. It is so yummy. Looks even better where it belongs (where it has ALWAYS belonged) but you'll have to wait for those pics until we move stuff back in. At least I have my router and phone back up and running, but the rest of the reorganizing is a little slower. I could just stare at that color all day and just smile.

:)

America's Best Music Towns

2010-07-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

We already knew this, but in case YOU didn't, here's the word.

Lafayette is one of America's Best Music Towns.

Duh.

This doesn't even count food in the equation. That would just be an unfair advantage.
New Orleans is pretty rockin' too, but I'm guessing you already knew that.

Bon temps à Lafayette!

Waiting and Writing: not as compatible as you might hope

2010-07-06T15:36:00.000-05:00

In good news. I itch less. Proof that yes it is all in my head. It still sets in at night when I finally slow down and my brain gets free reign, but at least my days are scratch-free. Ken had a minor procedure done this morning, and now that it's over, we can all relax, right? Wrong.

Now . . . we wait for test results.

Isn't that always fun? But I have tons to keep me busy. Among many other things, I have writing to do. And I'm at a point where I'm ready to jump back into this manuscript from scene one and seriously tackle a second draft. I should be good to go, right? Wrong again.

Fiction writing requires a weird combination of focus and freedom for your brain to wander around in search of new ideas. Focus is good right now. I need things to draw me in and get lost in them. But it's the second requirement - the wandering thoughts - that's dooming me right now. I'm just way to easily distracted today, despite having the time to write. I'm crossing my fingers that the results come in quickly with good news attached so I can get back on track with this draft and everything else.

Gore and Itching

2010-07-02T14:13:00.001-05:00

Two confessions. First, I'm in love with Deadliest Warrior. There's a marathon coming up (Tuesday, I believe), in case you aren't acquainted with the show or want to get caught up. The closet history buff in me just can't pass it up, despite the gushing blood and flying pig guts. Where else can you see how William Wallace might stack up against Shaka Zulu? Or an Aztec Jaguar vs. a Zande Warrior? What weapons and tactics did they use? Ok, so it does get a little icky, even for me (ugh, I had to actually look away a few times during the Vlad episode, but so did the computer programming geek on the show), but I just love it anyway. The promise of some Sun Tzu analysis pulled me again this week, especially since I would love to design an entire year of history lessons around The Art of War and how leaders have utilized (or not) his tactics throughout history.

I am such a dude.

I know.

Second confession. I have hives. Not the rational "I got stung or ate something I shouldn't" kind. Just the crazy in the head ones, which drive me even more crazy because I can't figure out what I might be "nervous" about which only further raises my anxiety. It's a rough time of year, we're going through a lot of changes, and we do have something coming up next week that would probably stress anyone a little, but it still feels random and sourceless. Maybe a nice, long weekend will chill me out.

Too bad I can't get that Abita S.O.S. yet. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll finally have the Wheat on the shelves. Perfect grilling beer. Maybe a cure for hives, too?

I Wrote Today

2010-06-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

I wrote today.

It bears repeating.

I. Wrote. Today.

That shouldn't be a big deal. I'm a writer, right? It's what we do? But there are so many stages to the process. When I write an article or a short story, it can take a week or a month to go through the process of prewriting, drafting, revising, and polishing. With planning and brainstorming intermixed in there just for shits and giggles. But with a novel, the time table is stretched out beyond normal human comprehension. Yes, I should be able to finish this one within a year's time, but there are huge stretches of time in there where there isn't any actual writing going on. We call it writing, just to shut everyone up around us, but there's a lot of note card shuffling, reading, margin marking, and head banging against hard surfaces.

Friends, I wrote today.

After a long stretch of reading over my first draft, making notes, reshaping acts, and character development, I jumped in and rewrote about three scenes today. Damn that felt good. I missed it. Now tomorrow I may be in tears, because I moved around an awful lot of scenes to manipulate the pacing of the story, and I'm not sure if it will all still make sense in the morning. But I'm not worrying about that.
Because . . . say it with me now . . .

. . . I wrote today.

SOS (Save Our Shore)

2010-06-23T14:21:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't know it, Louisiana rocks.

Abita Brewing Co. has announced that they are launching a new brew in July that will be called SOS in an effort to support restoration of Louisiana's Gulf Coast. Here's a bit from their site:

Working with the Louisiana Seafood Promotion & Marketing Board (LSPMB), Abita Beer announced that it has established ‘SOS – A Charitable Fund’ that will assist with the rescue and restoration of the environment, industry and individuals fighting to survive this disastrous oil spill.

The fund has pledged that 100% of all money raised will go to charity. In addition, the Louisiana Seafood Marketing Board will play an important role in advising where the money can do the most good.

$.75 from each bottle sold will go to the SOS fund. Abita was a strong supporter after Katrina with their Restoration Ale supporting the rebuilding efforts after that disaster, and you can count on them to be instrumental in this recovery as well.

Visit their site at Abita SOS to learn more or purchase SOS merchandise. Also be sure to visit their 5 Ways to Do More page to learn simple ways you can support the Louisiana fishing industry.

List of Wants

2010-06-21T21:41:00.000-05:00

When I read Eat, Pray, Love earlier this year, it sort of burrowed its way into my soul and has been growing there ever since. I’m not normally one that jumps on a book bandwagon, but this particular book just hit me at the right time. One of the things that stuck with me was how Elizabeth Gilbert evaluated her life and vowed early on in the story to live more by her own desires. To do this, she made a list of those desires, not worrying whether they were “worthy” or “frivolous” desires. I was immediately inspired to write my own list of wants, and I figured now would be a good time to share them. It’s an ongoing list, of course, with both short and long term goals, but they are definitely my wants. Not needs. Wants. Sometimes needs and wants match up, but I think people (mothers especially) tend to trivialize their wants and focus only on their needs. What better way to kick off the shift on this blog than to start with a list that’s completely authentic and unapologetically me.

So here they are, my list of wants, in no particular order:

Learn French - brushing off my high school French and learning along with Ella starting this summer

Paint the office - its on the agenda for this summer, something fun and bright

Go to the beach - Done. But this one stays up permanently. I always want to go to the beach. It's cleansing for me.

Travel alone

Visit France

Live a year in a house older than my country - preferably a little French cottage with ivy growing up the brick

Wear makeup correctly - I don't like to wear makeup, but when I do it's one of those things I always feel like I'm doing wrong.

Make curtains - We haven't had any (except the kitchen window) since the flood. Just shades. Wait, I put some in the baby's room until carpet bugs attacked them. Gave up after that, but I'd love to add some color back on these puppies.

If you haven't done this in a while, I highly recommend it. Go ahead, take five minutes right now and scribble down the first five thing that come to your mind. Don't forget to come back and share your favorite with me or let me know if you've posted your own list.

Shifting

2010-06-14T13:43:00.000-05:00

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a “static” kind of girl. I’m in a constant state of flux, shifting from one project, goal, attitude, etc. to another. And you know what? I like it that way. I don’t need to apologize for being scatter-brained or distracted or involved in a lot of stuff at once or for being me. So we’re doing a bit of shifting around here.

Ways I’m Shifting:

1. Structure - I’ll be posting once a week. More than that is ok, but it’s lagniappe. Don’t expect it. But I’m pretty sure I can commit to once a week.

2. Topics - The blog will now be all about me. I’m kicking the kids out. Not out of the house, just out of the blog. Don’t worry, they’re getting their own space (see #3) where they can run around like the little unwanted puppies and kittens your parents sent out to that dreamy little farm where they could frolic in the fields with all the other animals. If you stick around here you’ll still find writing posts, but also more what I want to write about, not what I think someone else wants to read or see. My blog. My voice.

3. New Blog - Yeah, I know I have enough, but this one is calling out to BE. In the spirit of shifting, we’re homeschooling. Nothing’s official and I still have time to chicken out before the next year begins, but we’re already in the swing of things and we love it so far. If you want to visit the kids on the new blog “farm” or read more about our new adventure, you’ll find the new blog here - Lagniappe Academy

4. Writing - Oh, I’m still writing fiction. In fact, I finished the read-through on my first draft, and I’m shifting gears into character development this week. I know who these people are, but they’re still rattling around inside my head. I need to give them better voices in my next draft.

So, there you have it. Those are my shifts. Feel free to share any shifts of your own in the comments!

Story Study: Lost and The Not-So-Saggy Middle

2010-05-25T12:09:00.000-05:00

Don't worry, if you're anything like me and are behind several episodes, you won't find any Lost spoilers here. I also won't be discussing how I feel about the ending. Not today. Today I want to look at the story as a whole and why it worked so well.

The easy answer to why it worked is that it was a character-driven show. And the treatment of those characters was done perfectly. Threw them all together, showing them in the here and now with stuff to do, then slowly sprinkled in bits bits of information about where they came from and why they were here as the show progressed.

But that's the easy answer. There are lots of shows - plenty containing interesting characters - that fall off the face of tv history after just a couple of seasons. So why did this one work? It worked for one because it had a clear ending in sight. For the creators at least. They treated the series as one story, with a clear story arc (not to mention a whole slew of character arcs). That brings us to my favorite part. The Saggy Middle.

As writers, we all struggle with The Saggy Middle. Even those of us who don't struggle with it still need to be aware of the potential for boring the pants of our readers or losing them due to a slow down in action, not upping the stakes enough, not showing anything new about our characters, etc.

Let's do the math.
Lost was on for six seasons. That puts its potentially Saggy Middle around seasons 3 and 4. So what do you do at the midpoint (the last episode of season 3) if you're Lost and you don't want the Sag of Death hanging around your show leaving you viewerless with cancelation looming in the not so distant future?

You kill a Charlie.

I hated that episode, as I'm sure everyone did. Good for us they set it up so well and we knew something bad was going to happen to him that whole hour, but that didn't take away the sting. Still, it had to be done. They'd killed off plenty of characters before that episode, so they had to up the stakes even more. They had to off a beloved character - preferably one who had already completed his own arc, giving him a satisfying yet ultimately tragic death. It was perfect. Painful, but perfect. No Sag.

And we continued to watch. Why? Because by golly they offed Charlie. They'd better fix it. It had better be worth something. So we continued to watch, either to see how they could possibly top that (because if it's an ongoing story there should be some breathtaking climax, right?) or to see how they make it right in our minds. They owed us that.

Whether or not you believe they delivered after that point is kind of irrelevant - at least for this discussion. Because they had a nice, tight middle, kept their viewers, and kept the show alive. My hat's off to the show, simply for taking the time and effort to do it right and not undervalue their audience.

Bravo and farewell, Lost.
Thanks for six years of great storytelling.

Baby Steps

2010-05-20T11:02:00.000-05:00

I finished reading over my second act this morning. And you know what? It doesn't suck. The plan is to read the third act next week (there is no fourth . . . I suck, even if the book doesn't) and jump into rewrites and some character development this summer. That's the plan, and I'm sticking to it.

What did I learn this week? For one, I learned that the key to writing is baby steps. Or, as Anne Lamott would say, bird by bird. The problem? I'm naturally a binge and purge type of writer. I hate being that way, but that's how it's been for a long time. It's why NaNoWriMo works well for me. I can commit to just about anything for a month. But once I take a break . . . forget about it. I have the worst time getting back into it. Then when I do, I gulp and inhale like I haven't eaten in days and immerse myself in whatever project I'm working on. Crash and burn. Repeat.

But I'm breaking the cycle. I'm taking my baby steps and adding fiction writing to my weekly goals. Ten minutes a day if that's all I can get. It's doable.

Believe it or not (because I'm pretty sure I've said all of this before), I feel like I'm going to stick to it this time. For one, I'm not freelancing and I'm losing the guilt about not doing that anymore. Now, as I say that, I haven't freelanced in months (except for my column every other month) but TODAY I received an acceptance notice in my inbox. Such a strange industry. But I'm not getting sucked back in. I don't want to, and I'm honoring myself with that decision. In place of that, I'm spending more time with other non-writing creative activities (sewing and beading) that keep me inspired but don't use up all my words for the day leaving nothing left to write what I want to write.

So, Act Two is done. One Bird down. Next.

Um . . . Really?

2010-05-18T12:45:00.001-05:00

Oh, you are just going to LOVE this. Check out a little snippet of what's on the U.S. Embassy in London's Customs and Border Protection website:

What items are prohibited from entry into the United States?

Among articles prohibited are absinthe, liquor-filled candy, lottery tickets, narcotics and dangerous drugs, obscene articles and publications, seditious and treasonable materials, hazardous articles (e.g., fireworks, dangerous toys, toxic or poisonous substances), products made by convicts or forced labor, and switchblades (except for use by a one-armed traveler).

I couldn't write this kind of stuff in my wildest dreams, people. Seriously, there are so many things wrong with that excerpt, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

(And no, you aren't seeing things. I brightened the place up a little, but I kept the daisies, of course.)

Paint My Office!

2010-05-17T16:03:00.000-05:00

I really thought someone would have to call the Hoarders tv crew in to clear out my office. Seriously, the room makes me itch. And we're all to blame on the accumulation of stuff in there. With summer quickly approaching we need to tackle it so (1) I can write in there without wanting to vomit and (2) the girls can use the space for projects without fear that some random box will fall on their heads. This weekend we made a nice dent in the clutter, and I think we'll get most of the rest under control next weekend. Then guess what the reward will be . . .

. . . that's right, PAINT!!! I really have issues with these kinds of decisions, so I'm throwing it out to all of you. The green we love (the one on the far right), but we're saving that one for Ella's room this fall for her birthday. Can you tell I'm looking for something bright and fun??? The main problem is that the adjoining kitchen is red, so I don't want it to clash like some red and green Christmas theme. And I liked the orange, but I don't know how the red and orange next to each other will look. I want the space to be fun and creative. So, which ones do you like?

Saved By The Second Act

2010-05-06T12:32:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned the troubles I've been having reading over this first draft of my story. It took me all of last month just to get through the first act . . . which is maybe two chapters. (I have a bunch of loose scenes for now, since I decided not to worry about chapter breaks while drafting this one, but it feels like about two chapters.) A month. To read two chapters. And this was supposed to be a quick read?

Well, I pushed through anyway, and I put down the red pen (yep, it's red now, since the 2 yr old broke my pink pen and I haven't made a trip to the store yet). I realized I was spending way too much time stumbling over line edits in a section that I knew all along would have to be rewritten. Completely. So why waste time on sentence structure and such nonsense? Beats me. So I put the pen down, jotted some big picture notes (my hero's voice isn't clear in the beginning, he's a little dull, people are there that don't need to be, people who need to be aren't, etc.) and pushed ahead.

Let me tell you something. Thank goodness for second acts.

If I had stayed in those first few scenes and hadn't pushed forward, I'd have probably thrown in the towel completely. On this story. On this genre. On writing. Period. It felt that awful. But then the story moved on and it got . . . better. I didn't have to scribble on the pages quite so much. I got caught up in the story. It flowed better and made more sense, and I could focus on what really matters at THIS stage of rewrites. So while it took me all of April to read the first act, I think I can get through the rest of it before the end of the month, and hopefully have a much clearer picture in my head about where to go from here.

But I knew that already. I just got stuck in my head and that stupid first act. Oh, we're gonna have an act burning party in the back yard one night this summer. And you're all invited.

Corn

2010-05-04T15:39:00.000-05:00

Warning: the following isn't exactly breakfast reading material

I haven't mentioned Ella much on here lately because we've been working through some issues and busy with school. Plus, as she gets older, it feels more like it's not my story to tell anymore. But I'm going to share this little story today anyway, as an example of the weird deadpan humor she's developed this year.

As Ella and her BFF walked down the hall with their class, a boy threw up in the middle of the hall. Twice.

Ella: Ew. (Then, after a brief pause . . .) Is that corn?

(Both examine the scene across the hall with particular scientific interest.)

Ella's BFF: Yep, that's corn.

And both continue on with their class to the lunch room.

2010-05-03T13:19:00.000-05:00

Has it really been a month since I last posted? Wow. Well, what can I say? April. It's always one of those months that smacks me around a bit. Ok, more than a bit, but I come out of it in the end, right? But hey, that's why in lieu of any birthday nonsense this year, I wanted that beach vacation at the beginning of the month. Before all of the craziness set in. You know, to fill my cup ahead of time.

Currently, I'm recovering from a wicked stomach bug. I've been cleaning up since the first person came down with it over a week ago. Just when I finish all the washing . . . next! I hope I'm the end of the line, but I have the phone sitting nearby in case I get a call from Ella's school. Anyway, I can't do much today (just walking across the room makes me lightheaded and breathless), but I can sit on the couch with the laptop and catch up here. Hopefully ending this annoying string of catch-up posts.

Well, about April. There always seems to be a surplus of birthdays and anniversaries in April. Just with us, it starts with my birthday, then the anniversary of my dad's birthday just a few days later. No, you didn't miss a birthday post from me. I kind of skipped it this year. I had the vacation earlier in the month, plus the whole week of my birthday I had field trips with Ella's class. Every. Single. Stinkin'. Day. Oh, and not great field trips either. Even the kids were tired of field trips by the end of the week. Now that says a lot, doesn't it?

Around that time, we were also cleaning out the shop behind my mom's house, the shop that has been housing all of my dad's old computers and parts and even some of our monitors things like that. It was the last big chunk of his stuff that we had left to clear out, and after six years of putting it off AND with the bi-annual collection date for that kind of stuff falling on his birthday this year . . . it was time. So I spent a few days stripping old computers and scrapping and labeling any parts we could still use or keep as backups, and everything else went. It's good when I can be busy that week. Since I our birthdays were so close, they're kind of permanently wound together, so if I can just fly over that week without acknowledging either day, all the better for me.

The following week, the first virus victim (Ken) fell . . . exactly one day before our eleventh anniversary. But he bounced back pretty well, and we were able to save the day by sneaking out to see a movie. We always celebrate our anniversary with a trip downtown to Festival International, but we just made it out for a couple of hours with the girls on Sunday. Then we came home for . . .

. . . the crawfish races! Oh, yes, don't be fooled. There was much eating of the crawfish after this. And no, it didn't bother the girls one bit that we were dumping their new friends into boiling water. They are true cajuns through and through. They know exactly what those little guys taste like. That's why we now boil a whole sack at home instead of picking up a few pounds already cooked. They can easily eat a whole five-pound order by themselves.

Ugh . . . that's enough talking about food for today. Now I'm off to force myself to eat something. I'm aiming to have a much more substantial post later this week.

**Oh, and don't even to bother to ask about the writing. I scribbled over the first act, but that's as far as I got. You know . . . April.

Changes in (L)Attitude

2010-04-06T15:54:00.000-05:00

Like so many of you, I'm sure, our family was in desperate need of a vacation and some family bonding time. This year, we decided to go for an extended weekend in Orange Beach, AL. When I was a kid, my family took yearly trips to nearby Gulf Shores, and I always loved those weeks at the beach. The four of us haven't been to the beach since Ella was three, long before Harper was even born. We had such a great time, but we just haven't made it out since then. It was a vacation long overdue. With Ken's work schedule, we can't really go during the summer, and with the stupid truancy office breathing down our necks, it was either go now or wait until November again. I'm definitely glad we went now.

The Caribe was gorgeous. (That's it in the background of the above pics.) I was a little nervous about staying in one of those crowded monstrosities lining the beaches now, but with so many pools and the cool, spacious layout, it didn't feel crowded at all, even with the big spring break crowd (family-type spring breakers, not the other kind). The kids squealed when we walked in the condo, and within two minutes of taking in the room and the view, Harper jumped up and announced, "No go home . . . EVER!"

The place had goldfish swimming in the lobby and a glass elevators that really amused the girls. And yes, we brought the old cage and got two new crabs. Mako and Shark.

We had a beautiful view of the bay and the gulf, and we stood on the balcony watching boats and brown pelicans go by every morning, even through the clouds and fog.

The pools were great. They had huge sections that were only a foot and a half deep, so we could sit and watch without worrying about Harper wandering too far into the pool.

The only problem was that Ella got antsy in there and wanted to go in the second section where it was a little deeper. But it was still really cold in the water, so she got bored and frustrated out there. Good thing they had a bunch of nice indoor pools too. And you know what? We had the pool to ourselves at eight in the morning. Go figure, right?

A stretch of protected state park beaches sat right across the street from us, so we could sit out in the morning and watch the fishermen reel in their catches a few feet away while the girls dug in the sand (Harper still calls it "snow").

Since we're morning people, we pretty much had the place to ourselves most of the time we were out there. Check out this stretch of beach . . .

And the food. Oh, the food. We ate in the room most of the time (really, I'm not going to complain about cooking eggs in a top of the line kitchen with THAT view), but we made it out for a couple of meals. We found a local-type place with the best fresh oysters I think I've ever had. They were huge, but oh they just melted in your mouth like butter! Even Ella gobbled up the fried oysters and fish and steamed shrimp. That's my girl! And of course the kids had a blast at Lulu's, with live music an eating area open to a huge sand play area.

Surprisingly, Ella's sensory stuff didn't bother her nearly as much as it has in the past. I could tell when she got nervous and uncomfortable, but she was able to cope and allowed us to help without freaking out. Now, eating out would have been much easier if I did't have to visit the bathroom four times at each stop, because Harper decided THIS weekend a good time to use the potty. Oh well. At least she actually used it everywhere we went.

I intentionally left the laptop at home. No work. No email. No games. None of it for any of us. For once, there were whole moments when I didn't do anything. When I sat still, I didn't have to plan or make lists or schedules or any of that. I just sat and soaked in the sun and salty air and the giggles around me. And you know what? The kids got some needed attitude adjustments too. No more, "I hate my baby sister," or "Shut up," or any of that stuff that drives me freaking batty. By Easter dinner, Ella actually asked to sit next to her sister at dinner. They played together and laughed together and held hands and hugged all weekend. It was definitely a welcome change, that I'm hoping sticks around for at least a little while.

All in all, we had a great weekend. I'm glad to be home sleeping in my own bed, but we're definitely not waiting another three years to go back there!

Back to Writing

2010-03-29T15:50:00.000-05:00

What's on my desk???

That's right . . . THAT, my friends, is the first draft of my current WIP. I've taken my necessary two-month step back from it, and I'm pretty sure it's time to get cracking again. I'm a few scenes in and realizing that I'm taking way too long with this read-through. I overanalyze early drafts. In some ways, that's a good thing. But it also sucks the life out of me and I never finish the edits or get frustrated and decide I'll never be able to fix it. So I think I'm going to focus on a quick read here. Just marking things I like or don't like with my pretty pink pen. (isn't red just way too harsh? And my tired brain skims right over blue or green marks. Anything else just doesn't show up. So, pink it is for me.) I'm going to leave the "How to fix what I don't like" for when I tackle the draft on the computer. Hopefully that gives me back some speed.

In other news, I'm sewing again. And Harper and I are getting out a little more. We went to the zoo a couple of weeks ago. This is the best shot I got:

I snuck (yeah, yeah, I know snick isn't a word. . . I just LIKE it) a picture while she ate her grapes for a snack. All of the other pictures were some variation of this face:

The second she see's a camera, that happens. It's her cheesy face. That was actually a half-hearted one, but it proves she just can't help herself, even when she doesn't really want to pose. I do with the girl would just figure out a normal smile, although I admit some of the really cheesy ones are terribly cute.

Other than that, I've been sick for a little over a week with The Cold That Just Wouldn't Quit. I'm sure it's being egged on by the pollen. I love all of my oak trees and the enormous amount of shade they give in the summer, but this year they gave my allergies hell. I couldn't go outside for two minutes without spending the next hour with watery eyes, congestion, and a sore throat. And I think my car is going to develop a perma-pollen sheen to it this year, because I don't plan on washing it any time soon.

10 Things I've Learned About Being Gluten-Free

2010-03-21T13:56:00.000-05:00

Wonder where I've been? Not writing, but hopefully now that the kid's dietary mystery is solved (for now) I can get my head back in the game. We also have some things coming up with Ella, but that's a post for another day. For now, here's what we've learned from Harper's food allergies/intolerances/sensitivities:

1. Living without gluten isn't all that hard, once you mentally adjust to it. Living without gluten AND casein (the milk protein that can be found even in things containing the label "dairy-free" . . . wrong, right?) is completely life changing. Really, half of our grocery list was filled with cheese and sour cream and butter. And since I refuse to be a short order cook, we are all gluten and casein free in this house. Nothing comes in with either ingredient. It really is much easier and so much less confusing this way.

2. I really will do anything for my kids. Yep, this Cajun no longer eats fried shrimp, poboys, or muffalettas. Unless I make them myself, but then that just makes me really sad 'cause it's just not the same. So I do without. And I'm perfectly ok with that.

3. It is much easier to cook every single meal at home than deal with restaurants or questionable convenience foods. Don't believe me? Watch a kid in pain for a week after eating something with an offending ingredient and tell me otherwise. Oh, there are plenty of restaurants (not fast food . . . don't even THINK of fast food) with GF menus, but I always want the other stuff. Which just makes me angry. So, again, I just do without. When we're out, I just have to remember to keep lunch boxes and a blanket in the trunk, and make errand days picnic days. How much more fun is that anyway?!

4. Gluten has some kind of cracky effect on the body. I went through some serious withdrawal for about two weeks, where I craved bread like nobody's business. Don't get me started on cheese. Now that it's been about a month without gluten or milk products (yep, cheese too), I don't really miss them. That said . . .

5. Amy's rice crust non-dairy pizza is really good. Ok, not the same as real take-out pizza, but a perfectly acceptable frozen substitute. Because a cook has to take the night off once in a while!

6. All those weird flours aren't so scary. Not with a little experimentation. Equal parts sorghum, tapioca, and rice flour works great. I keep a big container of it all mixed together now. Expensive? Yes. I won't kid you. But with all the money we're saving by not eating out? We're still saving money.

7. Baking sucks. Ok, not really, but it takes a lot of practice, and you'll fail. A lot. But it's ok. You get it right eventually, and you find really yummy stuff that's so much healthier than the crap you were eating before. Imagine serving healthy pancakes loaded with protein! But . . . forget bread for a while. Seriously, it's the Holy Grail of gf baking. I haven't moved past banana bread yet, because, really, that isn't even bread. But banana muffins just plain rock.

8. Almond milk is my new best friend! Think I'm joking? Check out my cabinets. Full of the stuff. I always had lactose issues, so I gave up milk years ago. Rice milk's a joke (unless you have a nut allergy, of course) because it's really very thin and screws up baking ratios, and I'm staying away from soy as much as possible because we haven't ruled it out as an allergen as well. But almond milk, oh I LOVE it! And because it comes in a container that I can keep in the cabinet, we never run out and we never throw it out because it went bad before the stupid expiration date. And just don't get me started on cow's milk in general. Seriously, almond milk is the bomb-diggity!!!

9. Asian markets are just like in the movies. Not the ducks hanging in the streets kind, the little grocery store kind. I went to one the other day for rice flour, because that's the only place I can find sweet rice flour (a girl's gotta have her gumbo, and that's the best flour for roux) and they have the super fine regular rice flour that doesn't taste gritty like your toddler threw sand in the mix when you weren't looking. Plus, it's like a dollar a pound cheaper, and that's not even the savings buying in bulk, just the regular little 1 lb. packs. Anyway, let's just say that was a fun experience. And oh the food! I wanted to try everything, but I couldn't read the ingredients on most of the labels, and, well, I was in there to buy gf stuff, so I didn't want to throw off the shopping trip by buying questionable food. So excited about scoring that flour there.

10. It's not just for the kid. Oh, she's a hundred times better, don't get me wrong. Even her "growing pains" have completely disappeared, as has that weird slightly swollen gland behind her ear that the doctor swore was "ok." Gone. But it's more than that. I feel SO much better, and I didn't even think I had a problem. Migraines are minimal, and when they do creep back they are usually less severe. And I just . . . feel better. I feel less foggy and less moody. I'm hoping that once Ella's home for the summer and off the school lunches that she'll be less moody as well. One can hope, right?

And a bonus . . .

11. Diagnoses are overrated. Oh, get one if you can, but we kind of stumbled upon all of this by accident. By the time we stumbled upon the source of her problems through an elimination diet, we realized we dieted ourselves out of a testing option. Because we'd have to start feeding her gluten again (and thus subject her to pain and misery once again) for 1-2 months to get an accurate testing. I think there's a stool sample we can send in that should still show traces a year after starting the diet, but from what I've read, all of these tests are a little unreliable. The next step is to get an intestinal biopsy to determine if you have celiac disease. And even then, if they get a samplet that isn't damaged, you get a false negative. No way. Not for my 2 yr old. Not when the resulting treatment would be the same. A gluten-free diet. Which she's already on. (Throwing in the additional casein-free diet, because we already knew she had milk issues.) You can also do genetic testing now, which you can do whether or not you are on an elimination diet, but even then it tests for celiac and not necessarily gluten sensitivities. And at this point, I wonder what's the point? So labs and doctors and insurance companies can get paid? So my insurance company can have another reason to raise our rates? The diet works. We feel better. We're sticking to it. For now. At some point we may revisit it to see if it's some allergy she has possibly outgrown, but for now we're just doing what works for us. That same way we always do.

Spring Overhaul

2010-03-01T12:28:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged in ages. Have a ton of stuff swirling in my head.

Ella & school - I spoke with the counselor this morning. She's going to see about getting Ella screened for the gifted program. I'm not convinced this will be enough for her, and the most thorough option we have with this route would be a huge inconvenience for us as it involves switching schools and transporting her across town every day. That would be fine if it were . . . enough. Plus, it won't solve her social issues. We're basically running low on options, but I'm making peace with where all of this might lead us. That path, however, involves a lot of planning and preparation, so my brain is in super-swimming mode with that possibility.

Harper's diet - She ate girl scout cookies and cheese this weekend and all her poop and sleep issues returned for a couple of days and are now gone again. Clearly a dietary/allergy issue, only now I don't know if it's the milk or the gluten. The experiment continues.

Budgeting. We're trying out this program and are working to spend better and build savings and basically spend more purposefully.

Organizing. We got rid of a bunch of crap (mostly baby toys the girls have outgrown) at a garage sale this weekend, but there's still so much left to do. The office/craft room needs to be more functional and less of a storage space. I'm getting there, but we'll spend this next month clearing out room in other areas to make storage space. The good news (my carrot, really) . . . if we get everything done in March, we'll be painting in May! (April is out of the question. It's just another one of those ridiculous months when nothing of substance gets done.) Not sure what color yet. Ella's pushing for alien green (go figure). Harper will surely point to pink. I just want something bright and fun. I could even be convinced to do a couple of different colors on different walls. Let's just say it's a good thing I have two months to decide!

Sewing & writing? Here and there. When I have time. (Yes, I hear you laughing.)

Well, I guess this list is fitting. It is March 1st. We'll consider this my spring cleaning list. And yes, mental spring cleaning counts! How about all of you? Any major plans for spring?

Update and Junk

2010-02-21T18:02:00.000-06:00

I really wish I had a nice writing update after such a long absence. Sadly, nothing to report. I'm just completely spent. After getting out of school a day and a half early with a stomach bug, Ella was off another full week for Mardi Gras break. Now? After two days of screaming and whining, she sat quietly on the couch this afternoon and I just caught a glimpse of those tell-tale pink cheeks (my kids are so pale we don't need thermometers around here). I checked her thinking MAYBE this time the signs were wrong. Nope. Fever. Lowish, but still fever. Meaning once again, she might miss school. I'm surprised I haven't already received my truancy letter for the year.

But that's not so bad. Having an extra kid around actually paid off for most of the vacation. You see, normally this is a really long, trying week for me, because Ken spends most of it playing for Mardi Gras at a nearby casino. By most of it I mean he leaves in the morning and gets back at midnight for five straight days. And usually a kid gets sick during that time. But I got lucky this week. We stayed healthy and Ella and Harper played nicely (most of the time) and kept each other occupied pretty well. Score one for the home team!

But still, I'm losing my mind. See, I haven't had any time to write or sew or do much of anything creative. Everything right now revolves around either waiting for Harper to poop, trying to make her poop, or figuring out what to feed her so she can poop normally. Sounds fun, huh? I'm absolutely convinced it's some sort of food allergy or intolerance, but we haven't narrowed it down yet. We are officially gluten-free, but now we're dairy and casein-free (the milk protein) as well. I'm learning that it's quite common to be sensitive to both, and since her arms (where she usually only has very mild eczema where you can only feel, not see, slight rough patches on the backs of her arms) broke out in a bright red rash the day after she had cheese for lunch and dinner, then held her poop and cried about it for two days, I'm pretty sure that might be the culprit. But I won't know which or both until I cut both out for a while. Damn. I was ok with the no gluten. I was really getting the hang of that. I'd even figured out pizza. But now . . . seriously, this no cheese thing is going to kill me. Ok, that's dramatic, but it's really, really, really sad. I'm even ok without the coffee creamer (dairy-free does not equal casein-free, although it should, right?) because I just can't get into soy milk (I'd rather use almond or rice milk for cooking) and I used to drink my coffee black when I was in college anyway. No biggee. But cheese? That's a big. Huge. Well, at least eliminating the dairy will counteract the increase in my grocery bill from the expensive gluten-free stuff. Score one again. Excuse me if I'm not quite as enthused this time.

So, that's where my mind has been. Off in allergy diet land. But I did some planning this week, stopped whining about the cheese, and made a one month meal plan so I don't have to think about what to cook for her anymore. I'll just fix what's on the plan for one month, then we'll reassess all her symptoms and see if we want to play "Hey, does this cause a reaction?" with any of the foods we've eliminated or if we need to cut something else out too.

I promise I'll have something better for the next post . . . maybe a picture of something really yummy . . . or, if I'm lucky a nice progress report on my writing!

Community

2010-02-13T18:43:00.000-06:00

It's been an incredible week. As many of you know, we've been celebrating a pretty big win around here. Not just a win for Our Team, but a win for an pretty important city and for this whole region. 1 million people. That's a lot of people to show up for a parade. Especially when only 400,000 live in that city to begin with. And I promise you, even if Our Team had lost, most of those people still would have been at that parade (yes, they planned to have the parade for the team even if they lost). Why? Because that's just who we are. And it's not just about drinking or throwing a party. It's about COMMUNITY. And it's a pretty big deal down here. Strangers met in the streets and hugged and shook hands and patted each other on the back for days as we all celebrated this win. And we live about 2 hours west of the city. Football is big down here, but community, well, that's even bigger.

And, as a good fan and community member, I wanted to attend the parade. But that just wasn't happening with the freezing weather and the Loooooong parade route (I think it ran about five solid hours, and we would have had to stand near the end because we would have had to leave late, putting us out in the street until about 10 o'clock that night). Probably not a good idea to bring the kid with sensory issues out there with a million screaming people. Then, just in case I was still considering the idea (which I most definitely was, by the way), Harper darn near cracked her skull open the night before. Seriously. Actually, I'm not certain she didn't. Basically, she and her sister each held an end of a toddler packpack with a "leash" and were walking around the house with it. Well, I asked them to stop, but I should have taken it away right then and there. But I didn't. So one Harper went down the hall and Ella took a right. Guess which kid won. Ella has a good 20+ pounds on poor little Harper, so she sent her straight into the wall. No, correction. She pulled her straight into the CORNER of the wall. I will never ever forget that sound. Anyway, she's fine now, although she still (five days later) has an ugly lump on her forehead.

But back to the whole community idea. It just reminds me why I love this region. Plus, we still get the biggest kick out of days like this . . .

. . . especially when it's the second snow day in a single year!!! (This is important b/c when I was growing up, it only snowed MAYBE once every five years.)

Look Out Miami

2010-02-06T18:16:00.000-06:00

For those of you who still aren't sure what this strange species called "Cajun" or "Saints Fan" is all about, here's a good description of what you could expect if we showed up in your hometown:

http://www.nola.com/saints/index.ssf/2010/02/dear_miami.html

Not such a bad thing, right?

I'm still enjoying the week and will probably have a bit of a football hangover for a few days next week. I'll be back as soon as I can manage. We're spending most of our time trying to navigate the whole gluten-free life thing. Then, I spent most of this week taking care of sick people or down with fever myself, so not much to talk about anyway.

OH! Except for one thing. I have a new writing project that I've already begun and I am so excited about it. I want to tell you all, but I don't want to get into it fully at the moment, so you'll have to wait a little longer for that news. Plus, it's all new and exciting and I kind of want to keep it a secret. But I won't. But you still have to wait a few days. I know, torture.

Nothing to see here

2010-01-28T15:00:00.000-06:00

I'm reading, not writing, and I'm preoccupied with other projects this week. So, lots of navel-staring here.

I finally finished Harper's non-birthday purse (and an extra little treat for myself), and anyone that's interested in that can see it over at Jazzy Mama.

Other than that, we're all swept up in the Super Bowl hype. If you're interested in that, you can pop in over at my Saints Rants blog, or visit any of the fun folks listed in the sidebar over there.

I'll be back here as soon as things settle down, promise!

A quickie with pictures

2010-01-26T18:18:00.000-06:00

I'm taking a break from the writing posts and the All About Me Because Everything Is All About Me Right Now posts to give a couple of quick updates. First, the big kid . . .

See that hole down there on the bottom row? That's the first missing tooth. She's laughing because she thinks PhotoBooth on my MacBook is freaking hilarious. (um, I spent a good bit of time playing with it when I got it, so I totally understand) Harper sped up the process by ripping a blanket out of her sister's mouth (blood? you bet), but it still took a while to actually fall out. The next one is already loose and the hole is already getting filled by a new tooth. I don't remember them coming back that fast. Everything is happening SO FAST with these kids.

Also, a couple of weeks ago my mom took her to the Walking with Dinosaurs show. She's been into sharks lately (and before that it was snakes and lizards and bugs and on and on with the creepies), so I wasn't sure how impressed she'd be. Oh, it delivered. She talked for two days as if the dinosaurs were real. I asked if they had real dinosaurs (just to see how she would respond) and got a sassy response of "No, of COURSE they weren't real," but you wouldn't know it the way she talked about them. Then we took her to the snake and reptile special exhibit at the science museum this weekend, which was, of course, right up her alley. The girl's been getting her science on lately.

And then there's the little one. She has clearly discovered her favorite Small Beginnings activity:

That's her scooping dried beans between containers. Fascinating stuff, I tell you. She sat quietly and focused completely on the task for nearly an hour while I cooked dinner beside her. I pulled the little craft chair and table into the kitchen so I watch her, since we have already had a pea up the nose incident at lunch one day. I do not wish to repeat that.

And now I will leave you all, as I'm still recovering from this weekend's game. Who Dat!!!

Feeding the Writer's Soul

2010-01-21T13:32:00.000-06:00

Feeling much better today. 70-degrees with sunshine and a cool breeze can do that to a person, but it's more than that. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still exhausted. The little one's been up all night every night, and I had to drag both kids to the eye doctor yesterday to get both sets of eyes dilated. Yep, a 6 yr old with sensitivity issues and a combative 2 yr old. Guess which one screamed and cried and which one swatted at the lady who sprayed stuff on her face. Oh, that was fun. And then I got the bill. Sheesh.

But even then . . . better.

I'm taking the prerequisite time off from between drafts of my current WIP to get some distance. I don't have the energy to start a new project in that space (still haven't sewn that dang purse for the kid's birthday weeks ago), but I'm still working on my craft. I picked up where I left off in Stephen King's On Writing, and man is that still a fabulous book. Even if you aren't a writer, he's actually . . . funny. I'm not a fan of his stories, but I respect him and he makes a point or two (or two thousand) in the book. And I'm paying attention to life. By that I mean I'm jotting down notes and ideas and bits of dialogue for future stories, and basically keeping my mind fed and happy.

Happy being the key here.
And there's more . . .

Way back when Eat, Pray, Love first came out, everyone instantly loved it. It had Oprah's seal of approval so it HAD to be good, right? I hated it. Never read it, but I hated it. And I swore I'd never read it. No reason other than it just couldn't hold up to all that praise. And at that time in my life, it probably wouldn't have. I wasn't ready for it. But The Universe always knows when you're ready for something. A week or so ago, I heard mention of this book again. No recommendation, nothing specific, just the name of the book mentioned in passing. I still had no idea what it was about nor did I care to find out. Yet, a day or two later while I was on the library's website to renew some books the kids checked out, I went to the search page and - without thinking about it - put a hold request on the book I never wanted to read. This was before the mess of earlier this week. Then, yesterday, again on a whim, I took the kids on a quick trip to the library after the eye doctor. We checked out and there was the book. On hold, at the checkout counter, waiting for me. Right when I needed it. Of course, I still didn't know at the time that I needed it. Nor did I know I needed it later when Harper refused to be put down for her nap in her bed and I had to hold and rock her for two hours. That turned out to be yet another blessing, as it gave me the time to fly through nearly a third of the book. About forty pages into it, I stopped and wondered how I got the book (because it all happened totally without thought, really) and how it came to me right when I needed it. And I kept reading. And reading. And reading some more. It's one of those books I'm sure I'll finish by the end of this week. And it's inspiring in many ways. No, I'm not running off to Italy or India or doing any of that, but it's inspired me to do some small but hopefully life-changing things.

For one, I started my own list of wants today. Which is very, very, very different from a list of goals, which I have plenty of, but which may not always be my wants. Ok, rarely are my goals equal to my wants. But they need doing. And by the time I list all of the things that need doing, the list is usually so overwhelming that I don't dare add my wants to it.

No more.

Maybe I'll share some things on my wants list some day, or some of the other little things I'm doing, but for now I just wanted to share the soul feeding I've been doing. My writer's soul is happy, because it's getting a dose of inspiration from both King's support and suggestions and from Gilbert's beautiful but honest and funny (I NEED funny in a book, it seems) writing in Eat, Pray, Love. I'm surrounding myself with humor and beauty and wrapping myself up in them like a warm, comfy happiness blanket.

And now I must run from the computer so I can enjoy my kid and soak in some of this beautiful sunshine while I can.

What a Mess

2010-01-19T13:00:00.000-06:00

You get a list today, because that's what you get. I'm tired. Ok, not really the right word. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, elated, hopeful, doubtful, contemplative . . . do you really need me to continue? I didn't think so. The last few days have been a wild ride. What can I say? Life is messy. So. A list.

1. This weekend was awesome. Saturday's game was great, and I'm still on a high. Even more so in anticipation of next week's game. I've actually been looking forward to the possibility of the game since the beginning of the season. But enough about that.

2. We're going to try a gluten-free month. I'm keeping a food diary for me and Harper this week, and next week we'll switch out and eliminate potentially bad foods. Still not certain, but I suspect all her symptoms might be related to some sort of allergy we haven't yet identified. I don't think it's dairy. Could be egg. I'm leaning toward wheat. That's why I'm doing the food diary. I'm going to try to keep track of it throughout the month so if any symptoms come up again, maybe I can track down the source. And then with the new diet we'll know it's not wheat. Or we'll be "lucky" and stay gluten-free. I say "lucky" in quotes because I already want to throw up. Thankfully the kid loves veggies and fruit and I make a lot of things from scratch, but bread, crackers, and pasta? And oh the stories I hear about nasty gluten-free bread. I just can't wrap my head around the possibility of doing this forever. But I love my kid so we do what we have to.

3. I'm rethinking the freelancing again. I haven't even started, but I just don't feel I have the energy to pursue two writing careers. And if I have to pick, it's going to be the fiction route. Easy win. So I may go back to substitute teaching a few days a month, just to pick up a little cash and get out of the house more. Debating whether or not to put Harper in "pre-k" two days a week next year. She could use the regular friend time, and I could use the regular breaks to breathe and work a little. But then again, there's the potential for the gluten issue. Just thinking. Hard to focus on one day at a time when decisions need to be made and papers filed months ahead.

4. Finally, I'm feeling towered. Not in the big sense. I mean, I've been towered before. We all have. But because I put myself in certain situations, I set myself up for mini-towerings. The effect is the same, just on a smaller scale. I still have to take a step back, dust myself off, reevaluate my priorities and what I want, and make a few decisions. And don't look back. Like I said, life is messy. So I'm going to hit "publish," check some things off my to-do list, then do something nice for myself.

PAUSE

2010-01-15T20:14:00.001-06:00

I'll be out a few days. No, not going anywhere. In fact, I'll have my butt on the couch with my eyes glued to the tv for most of the weekend. I can't even come up with a proper post today, because my head's about to explode with today's news. So by the end of this weekend, I'll still be celebrating or I won't speak to anyone for days. I'll let Ella show you how I'm feeling right about now . . .

You all just got The Finger!

No, not that finger. The We're Coming For You Next finger.

I'm sure I'll be back to posting some time next week, but until then I'm hitting the pause button.

I Found Them

2010-01-14T19:35:00.000-06:00

I had pictures I've wanted to post for weeks. But I couldn't post them. Why? Because iphoto ate them. Yes, that's my story. It sounds much beter than, "I lost them," so I'm sticking with "iphoto ate them." Bottom line, I found them.

My fantastically fabulous friend Amy and I had a little side bet a while back (we'll leave it at that, salt and wounds and all. Plus, even speaking of this might incur some karmic wrath on Saturday, and I'm just not strong enough to handle that possibility, ok?) and this was the result:

A box of Rhode Island!

The girls had a ball going through the goodies, and Ken is absolutely gaga over the coffee syrup. Seriously though, the State Drink? I'm going to worry about the health of RI'ers now like you worry about us Cajuns and our fried food fetish. Oh, and I just couldn't do it justice, so I'm going to try again another day when there is better lighting before I make something with it. Just trust me, it's pretty.

Ella is still studying the whale guide and book of state facts.

And Harper gasped and hurried to put her new shirt on all by herself.

(that's the Popeye version of The Cheesy Face.)

So much goodness. Thanks again to Amy, from all of us. Now I really can't wait to get up there one day! (Um, yeah, I meant, um, one day when it's like springish. I can't even stand our winter. Stay warm up there!)

56,843

2010-01-11T20:00:00.001-06:00

Done.

Ok, that's such a lie. But I AM done for now. At least I'm done with this first draft of this particular novel.

Ok, again with the lies. I have three scenes left, the last chapter, the whole act four denouement thing. But I'm not writing it right now, because I can't tie up loose ends if I can't even find them in the first place to grab hold and yank them back together. Oh, all the big stuff's taken care of, but some of the little side threads (mostly those dealing with secondary characters) are still dangling around, and I need to figure out how those can fit better in the story before I start wrapping them up. So, no "The End." Just . . .
Done.

For now.

I have some sewing to catch up on (the birthday girl needs her very special birthday purse) and a column to write this week and a whole lot of thought and soul searching on the whole freelancing thing. But I will spend some time thinking about this story, particularly where it's heart lies and how to strengthen it. Big picture stuff.

Small Beginnings

2010-01-07T15:26:00.001-06:00

You know it's cold when . . .

. . . I make veggie soup. It isn't one of my favorite things in the world, but in all fairness I've never made it myself. The way I might like it. So, with below-20-degree temps predicted for the rest of the week, why the heck not. We had gumbo earlier this week (and all week for leftover lunches), so I needed a soup. I didn't think I could pass off French onion soup (which I LOVE) to the girls, but veggie, maybe. I figured it out, too. I don't normally like it with beef, which is how everyone I know makes it. I'm not a strict vegetarian, but I don't eat a lot of meat. I actually meant to put some in here (because that's all I know of veggie soup), but forgot to buy it earlier this week. But I did find a bag of dried white beans, so I threw half a pound in the broth (mostly v-8 juice, water, and a couple of beef cubes) and let it simmer until they softened. Then in with the frozen veggies, carrots, and potatoes. Even Ella took a taste and loved it. Ella is tasting at 2:00, by the way, because she is totally faking sick. No, that's a lie. I don't think it even occurs to her to fake sick. She had a sore throat last night, so when she ran a low fever this morning combined with a headache (she never gets headaches) and stomach ache, it was a no-brainer. Then, a couple hours later, *POOF* fever gone and she's running around annoying the rest of us. Yay.
But at least she likes and will eat the soup.

So, small beginnings.

I picked up Mommy, Teach Me! at the library last weekend, and I'm working in some of the Small Beginnings activities into our daily routines. Simple things like taking the time to teach her how to work a zipper or put on a jacket by herself, or sweep trash into a masking tape square on the floor. Small beginnings. Some of the other activities we're trying out, just to see if she can handle them yet. Like the above clothespin activity. I had clothespins. I had a plastic cup. I picked up a bunch of baskets at the dollar store the other day, and filled one of those with clothespins and a plastic cup and VOILA! a clothespin activity. Without the basket, no interest. With the basket . . . ooh . . . . aahhh . . . Mommy what's that?! I sat and carefully showed her how to open and close them, then how to pinch them around the edges of a plastic cup. I realized quickly that her fingers weren't quite strong enough to handle the task well, but she wanted to work it out, so I retreated to the kitchen (she was just through the doorway in the office where I could see her but not hover) and began dinner. When I snuck a glance back at her, I noticed a few extra clothespins on the cup. Awesome! Later, when I went in to actually sit next to her again, I took a closer look at the cup.

She decided that pinching them was too difficult. But if she flipped them over and balanced them upside-down, she could complete the same task with much less effort.

Efficiency!
Problem solving!

Even Awesomer!!!
(yes, that is totally a real word)

And so it begins. With small beginnings. One step toward Goal # 3.

2010 Goals

2010-01-06T13:46:00.000-06:00

Today is catch up week. After a big birthday excursion, a killer migraine, and a visit this morning to the pediatrician (who put my mind at ease about several things that I've been obsessing over. love that woman!), we're back home and putting things in order. My life has been . . . unmanageable. Oh, I could blame it on the holidays, but I haven't felt right for months. Maybe it had something to do with that 18month+ age (two is easy, 18-24 months is the hardest part) or other kid issues. Maybe it's throwing karate in our schedule 3 days a week, even though it's been wonderful. Maybe it was just a combination of those and other things. A perfect storm? Maybe. Either way, a new year, a new start. I love New Year's more than any other holiday. Not the staying up or parties (what party?), but the freshness of it all. And while I've mentioned before that I don't like resolutions (sounds like a slap on the wrist, like I've done something bad and need to take punitive measures for 12 months) I do LOVE setting goals. Yearly, monthly, weekly . . . daily too. And I try to address all the areas of my life - personal, health, parenting, professional.

There's a group doing a monthly habit-building challenge. It takes about a month (a little less actually) of doing a new task or activity consistently for it to become a habit, so think of how much better you could make your life by forming 12 new, healthy habits in just one year. I love that idea, but I'm not there yet. I'd love to say I'm going to exercise this month. Or drink more water next month. But as much as my life FINALLY feels manageable, I'm still in a mild state of crisis mode. There are some big things I need to get in order before I can micromanage. And if last year was The Year of Letting Go, I feel like this year needs to be all about BALANCE. That will be my word of the year, so get used to it. That said, here are my big picture goals for the upcoming year:

1. Submit novel.
That means revising and editing the one I'm about a week away from finishing the first draft.

2. Resume Freelancing.
I keep going back and forth with this one, but it's a bit of a financial issue now. And Harper's a little older and I can do a bit more with her underfoot. Not a lot. And maybe a new direction. I'm thinking about dipping my toe into children's nonfiction. We shall see.

3. Toddler Homeschooling
For lack of a better term. Because life is school for little ones. But since the toddler is on the cusp of becoming more of a preschooler, I need to step up my game. More guided activities/lessons and learning activities and an actual schedule and routines instead of winging it every day. This also includes reorganizing and redecorating the house to make it more accommodating so the little one feels less frustrated and more a part of the family.

4. Schedule More Grown-Up Time
Dates, Mom's Night Outs, dinners with friends, maybe finally join our local writer's guild. The kids are getting older and Harper's finally letting Daddy put her to sleep at night, so it's way past time Mommy gets a life again!

two

2010-01-04T20:11:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe it's been two years already. And yet it feels like she's always been a part of our family.

Since 2 came so close after the holiday blur, and since she's barely had a chance to enjoy her new loot in peace since she opened her last batch of presents, we decided to hold off on the official party and gifts for a couple of weeks. Still, mama wanted to make the day special, so we planned a whole girl's day out on the town . . . and then the car wouldn't start. This after thirty minutes of toddler wrangling to get her dressed (she's going through a "naked" phase). I guess I can't complain too much. The battery was only nine years old (I still can't believe it held out that long) and only finally died because I haven't run it in a week and we don't have an enclosed garage to protect it from the ridiculous cold. And Daddy did save the day by running home to jump the car and take it to the store for a quick battery switch while the little one enjoyed her favorite snack inside.

Frozen peas. Yum. Great for those nasty 2 yr molars, actually. And the not pooping. Which is still an issue, but less so now. Anyway, Daddy saved the day and we changed our plans to include lunch with our hero. Chinese buffet. Perfect for one who like a little piece of everything to try. Or more like "I lick." After lunch we spent a lot of time in and out of the car . . .

No complaints either. First we hit Joann Fabrics for a new big cutting mat (my Christmas present from a gift card) and some fabric for a purse for the wee one. She picked out a pretty berry colored corduroy that matches with the Abby Cadabby lining I already had at home.

Next stop, a spontaneous visit to J&R Educational Supply Store. Seriously, I shouldn't ever be allowed in that place. I've avoided it as much as possible, just because it is very very very hard to control the teacher in me when I walk in that place. Plus, they have the coolest toys. Harper got to put her new (from Santa) Abby doll in the little kid shopping cart and push it around, checking everything out for herself. I bought her a peg board set for her birthday, and they wrapped it up free of charge for the girl's official party later in the month.

Last stop, cake. Actually, we hit the dollar tree next door for a couple of baskets (organizing the office for Harper to use more of the space) and sponges (for new learning/Montessori-type activities) first, but that was right next door to the grocery store. I didn't want to go overboard since we'll probably do a real decorated cake of some sort later in the month, but I felt we should make something. So the girl picked out cake mix and icing. And the icing color. And in case you were still in doubt about my severe lack of baking skills, here is the result . . .

I'm no Bakerella, no way, but they were awfully yummy anyway. And they were a big hit after dinner.

But the best part of her day?

Ella stepping off the bus. I haven't heard her squeal like that in . . . well, ever. She missed her big sister so much after having her all to herself for two weeks and then getting stuck with just mama all day. (shh . . .wanna know a secret? I think Ella missed her too!)

This last picture is her favorite face. It's her "Cheesy Face." She's such a ham. No, seriously. Her knew thing is to cross her arms and pout, but not necessarily after she is wronged. Just because she can. And because people will ask what is wrong and what they can do to make her feel better if she does it. Seriously, I have caught her alone in her room practicing her different silly faces and pouting poses. She's perfecting her craft, I tell you. Big things ahead for that one. Just you wait. So, as mentioned, here is the Cheesy Face. (As if you won't see it here again.)

Yep, two is good.

Looking Back

2010-01-03T19:20:00.000-06:00

The holidays were a blur this year. We tried as always to keep things simple, but there seemed to always be someplace to be or someone new to see. We enjoyed it all, don't get me wrong, but our quiet time got lost somewhere in the mix.

As for Christmas itself? Well, here are my children, amused as always by the little things:

Harper and her flavored lip balm. She rubbed layer upon layer of this stuff across her face for days until I finally took all of the sticks away. Baby crack.

And Ella, a girl after my own heart, thrilled with office supplies. Here she's showing off her very own tape dispenser which she found in her stocking.

And yes, despite owning multiple pairs of warm socks and slippers, my children are completely barefoot in the middle of winter. And no, it was not one of those freakish 80-degree Christmases we get down here. I believe it was in the thirties that morning, but my children are always barefoot on my bare wood floor. Ella now has fuzzy grown up type socks she will wear, but the little one still refuses. And her feet rarely feel cod to the touch. A bit of Hobbit in our bloodline, I'm thinking.

(Yes, I realize this post is extremely disjointed. I'm trying to piece this together while Harper runs around her bed, diapering her babies and tucking them into bed, while I occasionally remind her not to jump on her bed or do gymnastics off the foot rail. So, disjointed post it is. I'll get it together next year. Er, this year. Maybe.)

Well, I figured I'd better review the year behind me before I barrel into the next one. So, here's a quick recap of how last year's goals went:

1. Organize well enough.
Um, no. But I'll get there. One day. Last year was all about letting go, and while I'm not where I'd like to be, I'm not letting my lack of success in this area get me down anymore.

2. Focus on my strengths.
Again, this was all about letting go. I nearly eliminating my freelancing, because I didn't enjoy it and finding time to do something I hated was draining me so I didn't have time or energy for my family. Mission accomplished. I miss the little bit of extra income, but it was well worth it to reprioritize for a year.

3. Finish a novel.
No. Sigh. Just . . . no. I finished another round of rewrites, but I still ended up with another big mess. So - once again - I started fresh. But each fresh start feels like a better product than the last. I'll gladly take a failure on this one just to know that this little failure brings me closer to my ultimate writing goals.

Wow. Lots of failure. But that's a win for me, since last year was The Year of Letting Go. And because it was The Year of Letting Go, those failures don't bother me, and I'm not dwelling on them either. So, next post will be a look ahead. Let go and move on.

Peace out.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T15:24:00.000-06:00

Wishing everyone a great, peaceful holiday.

(Not like this clip, but I had to throw this one in for Amy.)

Merry Christmas!!!

Horse Tranqs for All, and to All a Good Night!

2009-12-23T08:44:00.000-06:00

I saw a little piece of that Family Guy Freakin' Christmas again. Love that one. And I've come to the conclusion that every mother should be given one good horse tranq just after Christmas (or before, Lois-style, if you prefer). I don't know about you, but by this time, I'm ready to collapse in a rocker and drool on myself for a week. Or a day. I'll take whatever I can get. Because Christmas doesn't just fall out of my butt, you know.

As I wait for my beloved butt dart, here's a quick list of thoughts and updates, 'cause I don't have the energy for a real post this week.

* THE Field Trip. Yes, it will forever be known as THE field trip. The morning was fine. Saw The Princess and the Frog with Ella's class and the other first grade classes. The movie was great. I mean really great. More on that in a minute. Then, they decided to take them to the mall. Yes, the mall. Six first grade classes. One week before Christmas. No one took responsibility for that brain fart. And I assure you I asked around. It was miserable. Oh, and did I mention they didn't feed them lunch? They brought snacks, but didn't give them to them on the bus. So we're standing in line (yes, all of them) to see Santa, at 12:30 on empty stomachs after they had sat through a two hour movie and a bus ride across town. They were about to explode. But to their credit, they were awesome. Considering. Heck, I think I was crankier than they were. When they left a one o'clock to drive back across town to eat lunch at school, I just took Ella with me and we had a girls' lunch together. I think we deserved it. So . . . yeah, worst planned field trip ever.

* Back to the good stuff. The movie. It was a little scary with the bad guy and his voodoo and dark spirits (I wouldn't let Harper see it, for sure), but the message was fantastic. It wasn't your typical princess movie, because the girl wasn't a princess. No, she wanted to open a restaurant, which was her dead daddy's dream. I spent the first quarter of that movie trying to hide tears from the first graders. The ultimate message was that hard work pays off, and while it's important to follow your dreams, family and love are the most important thing in the world. Very sweet. Girl power. New Orleans (right after we'd been there, too). Music. Fantastic. I did get a little queazy when the three Cajun idiots showed up with their guns on the bayou to go froggin'. They were an embarrassment, but I couldn't begrudge them the stereotype since I could probably assign real people to those three roles. Sometimes a sterotype is there for a reason, and it doesn't imply anything about the rest of us.
Anyway, great movie. We're already planning to see it again. Oh, and I do have a movie-related surprise for the girl, but little eyes are in the room so . . . more on that another day.

* I think I'm finished shopping. Finally. But I'm not sure. I can't remember anything. Oh, and of course I have my holiday planner and checklists, but this year I can't even remember to mark in it, making it practically worthless.

* I think I'm finished wrapping gifts. Again, not sure. I may have more in hiding places that I've forgotten about. But without my checklists properly filled out . . . again, worthless.

* Today is baking day. Not into it now. Probably because I've already baked twice over the past week. On the menu: white chocolate cherry cookies, cherry chocolate fudge, and peppermint bark. I'm wondering if I can schedule in a drinking day to follow baking day.

* I'm still writing. Not a lot, but I'm writing. I've been hanging out some at the Will Write for Wine forums, and I've joined in the Glittery HoHa challenge for December. It's just an extension of NaNoWriMo for us losers. I set my December goal for 20,000 words, what I estimated it would take to finish this draft. I have something like 4,000 words so far. In my defense, I started two weeks late. My ultimate goal is just to finish it before the end of the month. Even if I have to skip over scenes and leave little placeholders for scenes that I know need to be in there but I don't want to write just yet. Just so I get to "The End," I'll be happy.

* Working on a potential revitalization of my freelance career. If you want to call it that. But in a completely new direction. It's in the development stage. More on that next month.

I had more to to say, but my mind is shot. I just can't remember anything this month. And that's ok. Because my Butt Dart is coming, and once I'm rocking and drooling I won't give a hoot.

Christmas Time in New Orleans

2009-12-07T14:43:00.000-06:00

Cutest kids ever. No. I am not biased. Not at all.

This weekend, we took a pseudo-spontaneous day trip to New Orleans. We'd been talking about taking the girls to the aquarium, since Ella is all about sharks and sea creatures right now. I've also been drooling over the New Orleans Christmas festivities. We realized late in the week that this past Saturday would be our only shot at it. Two problems. One, I was sick. Two, we got freakish record book snow and ice Friday night, and I didn't relish the idea of driving on a frozen Atchafalaya basin bridge. So, we held our breath and hoped for the best.

Saturday morning, I woke up with a sore throat and congestion, but I felt like I could tough it out. We waited until the sun came up and the temps rose a bit, then threw the girls in the car for a surprise trip. Every sign on the way into the city read "11-0" and "Bless dem Boys," and it was just plain awesome!

We actually arrived at the same time the Canal Street Parade was starting up, but Ella's noise issues flared up the moment she heard one of the marching bands two blocks away. She cried and begged us not to stay for the parade, so we went straight into the aquarium. Bummer.

While we kind of planned the trip for Ella, I'm not sure which of the girls enjoyed the aquarium more. The second we unstrapped Harper from the stroller, she took off running and screeching. That continued for about three hours. Ken and I were both exhausted from trying to contain her (she is, after all, a climber and there's an open section of the second floor with ladder-like railings, and lots of elevators to sneak in with strangers) while still letting her enjoy the place.

And, of course, Ella got her shark on.

And here's a picture of Ken and Harper, since Ken says I never put up pictures of him.

After the aquarium, it was on to the French Quarter and the Market and coffee and beignets at Cafe du Monde. No pictures from there, because it's hard enough to hang on to two girls in the crowds. I couldn't let one go to grab the camera.

A little later, we tried out someting new. Miracle on Fulton, put on by Harrah's Casino. They basically turn this little side street between the two hotels into a Christmas showcase, complete with a big mailbox where they could mail their letters to Santa (which they did). It was absolutely beautiful.

The best? Every hour they turn on the "snow," from the bubble machines and the kids get to play in it among the decorated trees.

Initially, Ella complained that the city was too noisy and crowded, but by the time we left (we waited until dark so they could see the streets all lit up with decorations), she said she couldn't wait to go back to New Orleans.

Me too, kid.
Me too.

Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie, Pumpkin Playdough

2009-12-01T14:44:00.000-06:00

(to the tune of the Jambalaya Song)

If you came here for a NaNoWriMo success story, you came to the wrong place. Wait, I take that back. Considering all the bugs and sickness in this house over the last 30 days, I'd say anything I wrote is still a victory. And you know what? Until Thanksgiving, I still had a very good chance of hitting that 50k. All I needed was 2k wds a day. That's it. An hour and a half of writing each day for five days. No problem. But then the dad and the little one got sick again, so I took a little time to enjoy myself. And my kids. And the holidays. And to be truly grateful for the time I had with them.

We made pumpkin playdough . . .

It was a bit sticky, but with the pumpkin pie spice thrown in it smelled so yummy and seasonal. And I'm perfecting my recipe. I almost have it just the way I want it, without tons of salt.

And I tried to smile. Even when the little one grabs a tomato from the fridge and chomps down before I have a chance to wash or cut it up and put it in a bowl for her.

How can you say no to that face???

And I went Black Friday shopping with my sister, of course. No pictures there. Too busy. Work to be done.

We also moved the little one from her crib to the toddler bed. Well, for the first few hours of each night at least. Why? Because apparently I had nothing better to do this month.

Then Saturday afternoon, while the little one and daddy slept, I spent the afternoon with Ella. We put up the tree and decorations and had a really great time. Just us. Then that night we watched Elf (which I finally bought this year) and drank hot chocolate. Perfect.

And today I finished my Advent project . . .

A reusable fabric Advent chain! I can't wait to let the kids tear off one of the velcro strips later tonight. And I can't wait until Ella gets home each day at three, because as much as the screeching and running aroun the house drives me nuts, I miss that girl after having her all to myself for two weeks. Just three weeks until Christmas break . . .

So I got 40k written in a month, while still enjoying my family and keeping this ship afloat. I'm completely satisfied with that. And I can see the end of the novel off in the distance. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen in the next few scenes, but the end is definitely near. So I'll be finished with that before Christmas. I'm not in the least bit disappointed about NaNoWriMo now, because I'm learning balance. With my writing. With my life. With my people. Everything. I think that's been my life lesson for this year. Balance. Not a bad lesson to learn, right?

I'll be hopping around this week to see how everyone else did with NaNoWriMo. For now, I have to grab my little one from her big girl bed and pick up my big one at the bus stop. Lots to be thankful for right there.

One week to go

2009-11-22T15:25:00.000-06:00

Let's see. Where did I leave off? And what have we been up to the last few weeks?

* Teething. Again. Those big 2nd year molars. Explains the pitiful look and breaking out the sling again.

* Water Play. Lots of it. In fact, if I turn my back on her to pee for five seconds, she'll pull a chair across the room, climb up, turn the water on, and have a party started before I can run back.

But it does keep her busy while I'm cooking, and I can put her to work washing vegetables in the big strainer.

* NaNoWriMo. With a week let, I'm behind, but I still count it a win. I made peace long ago with the possibility of finishing with 45k instead of 50k. Still awesome. And I won't finish my draft at 50k, so the plan all along was to finish the draft before Christmas. I'm still on track for that one. And I think I'm somewhere around 35k for the month, with a week left, so that ain't bad. Ain't bad at all. Especially considering the next few points . . .

* Week 2: Carpet Beetles. Oh, that's all we'll say about that one. That'll teach me to skip a month or two of spraying outside the house. In South Louisiana. Argh.

* Week 3: Still fighting the plague of week 2, but Ella missed four days of school with fever and a cold. Good news for her is she worked out two weeks of Thanksgiving vacation for herself instead of one.

* Next Plague: Croup. Harper this time. And that takes us to the end of this weekend. We made it through the croup without a overnight/weekend trip to the ER/clinic, but now we're left with a typical coughing, cranky toddler. Did I mention the teething and carpet beetles?

I'm counting this month's writing a win, considering all of that. And I still wrote 35k. Not too shabby. But there hasn't been time for much else. And I don't suspect I'll have much spare time during this next week, but I'll be back in full swing pretty soon.

Freaky Friday

2009-11-13T08:51:00.000-06:00

Happy Friday the 13th! Have to admit, I only know it's Friday 13th because someone else pointed it out. But I figured it was a good opportunity to post some spooky pictures that have been hanging out on my hard drive. So, in honor of Freaky Friday, here's my own little freak . . .

Arrrrr . . . I'm gonna get you . . .

(actually, I was trying to take a picture of her decked out with her movie star glasses and her purse, which she MUST take everywhere now, because I'm so not used to having a girly girl)

Swamp Monster

(note to self: do not give this kid avocado again. Ever. Although mashing it into guacamole and serving with chips works. Just, not pieces.)

A softer, gentler side of the beast.

(I LOVE fall. Perfect lighting for pictures, always.)

And what's a monster horror flick without a little torture thrown in . . .

Ok, in my defense, I HAD to check the length on her costume before I finished it up. And yes, I had to take a picture, because LOOK! If the chef thing didn't work out it would have totally made a great straight jacket costme.

I'm just saying.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Less is More

2009-11-12T14:12:00.000-06:00

Chugging along with the word count, which doesn't leave much blogging time (or energy). But I'm learning yet another valuable lesson. Or two. About doing more with less.

1. Fewer subplots and fewer characters are required for a first draft. I thought I needed so much for a novel, but using LESS allows me to dig deeper into the plot lines and characters I do have. And it helps me keep track of everything. Espcially with romantic suspense, when you have a romance plot, plus a suspense plot, plus two character arcs because I have two alternating POV characters, plus an antagonist to keep track of behind the scenes . . . . yeah, much more than that is just too freaking much. And if I'm writing a 90-100k word novel, then I dont need to begin with a draft that large, especially since the way I write I need to add a lot more than I need to take out. So, starting with less.

2. Smaller chunks of writing time work better for me. It's math. I write at an average speed of 1,000 wds per hour. That means I need a good 1.5 - 2 hrs a day to reach my word count goal this month. No problem. BUT . . . I write even more efficiently in shorter bursts. For example, I can write about 700wds in 30 minutes. And up to 500 words in 15 minutes (especially if I know what I want to write prior to sitting down at the computer). So with THAT in mind. I'd be better off sitting for fifteen minutes 3-4 times per day, and I could reach my goal in only a total of 1 hour of writing time each day. Yes, I may be overthinking this, but I'm nothing if not on an eternal quest for efficiency. In everything. See, I just did my 30 minutes of writing, and now I only need a couple of quick 15 minute sessions to finish for the day. I may not be able to fit in two hours of writing time each day, but I'm sure I can find fifteen minutes here and there.

And now to heat up yet another cup of coffee.

NanoWriMo Update: Plot Bunnies, Ninjas, and Snakes

2009-11-06T20:20:00.000-06:00

8,269
That's my total for the month so far. I'm keeping up with my total word count in my progress meter in the sidebar, but it's a higher count because I started last year. I subtract my starting word count from my total to get my NaNo word count, and . . . well . . . yes, it's math. And yes, it's confusing. Or at least it is to me. Anyway, I should be at 10,000 words to be on track to finish, and even though I'm a bit behind, it's not terrible. Especially considering the first few days were nearly a complete wash. I learned a couple of things this week.

I should not write late at night. I end up with "It was a dark and stormy night" bullshit, and there's no point in that whatsoever.
There really are plot bunnies. And did you know that there is a real, true plot bunny farm? Yes, I googled plot bunnies. Yes, my brain is mush. Yes, it is only November 6th.
Plot ninjas are just like plot bunnies, but more troublesome. If you do not deal with them they actually make an appearance in your novel. Carrying handguns. And serving Margaritas. Mush, I tell you.
You know you really, really love writing fiction when you are me (and those of you who know me at all will get the absurdity of what follows) and you find yourself googling images of . . . snakes. That's not the mush talking. It's the story. And I can't argue with the story. Well, unless I want the ninjas showing up again. But seriously, I have a freaking plot this time, and it makes everything so much happier and shinier and just plain wonderful. Oh, it's a very basic skeleton, and I still have to figure out all the twists and turns along the way (how I'm gonna throw rocks at my main characters, basically) but I know where I'm going. Mostly. Unless the ninjas take me elsewhere.

Hope all the other NaNoers out there are having as much fun as I am!

No time for words

2009-11-02T09:59:00.000-06:00

A cat. Of course.

Can you tell the little one wouldn't stay still for a decent photo?

NaNoWriMo Survival Kit (plus, stuff to make a busy life easier)

2009-10-30T14:05:00.000-05:00

Last year I posted a list of items in my NaNoWriMo Tool Kit. The same list applies this year. Only, now I can't find any bags of individually wrapped sour straws. What's a girl to do?! *sigh*

This year I want to add a few things that I already use that make my whole freaking life easier and that I'll made super use of next month:

* Hulu - You pick shows you like and it keeps a list of new episodes for you to watch whenever you're ready for them, and it will sort them according to expiration date, os you don't miss out on any. I just plug my laptop into the tv and Voila! So much better than dvr, and did I mention completely FREE? Lucky me, my Eureka episodes don't expire EVER so I can watch all of those after Christmas when things settle down. Oh, and thanks to Hulu, I saw Castle dressed up as Malcolm Reynolds. "Uh, Dad, you were a space cowboy like five years ago." So freaking hilarious!!!

* Alice - I know there are other grocery/shopping sites out there, but this is the only one I have used so far. Only nonperishables, but they have some really good deals. They apply coupon discounts without you having to look for and cut coupons. I'm a big fan of store brand items, but if I can get quality name brand stuff for less than store brand prices, well, that's a no-brainer. FREE SHIPPING (I think as long as you buy 5-6 items each order), arrives within a week, and you can even get stamps. I even got free samples for some really neat new stuff automatically with my last order. Love it.

* Random lists of things to do with the toddler for when my brain is too fried to think up ideas on my own:

* Menu Plan - a list of easy family favorites, enough for a whole month, plus a few new recipes to try. I can pull a few from the list each week when I go shopping.

* Story Elements Checklist - this is a fantastic list of all the elements your novel should include. I put each on the top of an index card (color coded by act) and I'm jotting down my ideas for these scenes as I think of them. Then I'll post all the Act One cards on my bulletin board when I start. Just to give me ideas for what to write next when I get stuck. Then as I move on, I'll take those down and put up the next act's cards, and so on. I feel MUCH better starting with structure this time instead of completely pantsing it like I have in the past.

* Holiday Prep Checklist - There are plenty of these, depending if you want to prepare for the big holiday in sixteen weeks, eight weeks, or even two weeks. Over the years, I've earned what works for me, and I have my own checklist that I use to make sure I don't forget anything time-sensitive . . . especially with all the November NaNo craziness. It may seem a little anal retentive, but it works for me. If it's on a list, I don't have to worry about remembering (or forgetting) anything.

That's it for now. I finished the little one's Halloween costume today, so after a little novel prep, I'll be ready to actually enjoy Halloween tomorrow. And then comes November. You know, as crazy as October is around here, November is much easier. No, really. Even with the Novel-in-a-Month thing. You see, I do all of this planning and prep work ahead of time, so when November hits, all I have to do is show up, write, and play with my kids. I find I'm much more focused and attentive even in the midst of my craziness. It's all very Zen-like, believe it or not, and I'm ready for the fun to begin!!!

Shifting: Roth, Writing, and Life

2009-10-27T17:32:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend, I read a WSJ interview with Philip Roth that really got my undies in a bunch. They asked him questions of lots of topics, and at one point they asked about one of his characters, who is an actor, and he explained a distinction between good actors and what he considered mediocre/bad actors. Then came this question and answer . . .

What do popular writers such as James Patterson and Nora Roberts have that attracts such huge numbers of readers?
I don't know their books. They are entertainers. They aren't writers. And entertainers have a wide appeal. People love entertainment. They have a different kind of magic.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that flying monkeys pulled all those books out their butts. Thank you, Philip Roth, for setting me straight.

What really set me off about it (even though he does give them a backhanded compliment at the end) is that he doesn't use the same set of rules for actors as writers. If you are not part of his elite set of peers, then you are not a writer. Well, they still put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard or whatever they did to get the stories and words out of their heads and into the hands of readers. Key word = readers. Which makes them writers. I agree with him that they're entertainers, but you can't strip them of the title of "writer." I'm not a fan of either Patterson or Roberts, but I would never say they weren't writers. It's insulting and inexcusable.

Period.

But the discussion made me think about something else. A decade ago, I might have had a similar line of thinking (not that extreme, but somewhere along that line). I read more "serious" books and wouldn't have dreamed of picking up a romance novel to read in my spare time. Now, on the rare occasion I have free time to read something I want to read and I don't need to research some issue with my children, I reach for something fun and light and (dare I say) entertaining.

So what happened? Why the shift in my reading tastes and subsequently in what I write? Easy. It goes right along with the shift in my life. Back then, most of my days (and nights) were light and casual and filled with fun and excitement. I had spare time to think. To ponder. To be serious.

Now, everything in my life is serious. The stakes are higher as my decisions have greater consequences for me and those for which I'm responsible. Every moment of the day, I'm thinking ten moments ahead, if not ten days ahead, while juggling five potentially dangerous (or at least very, very messy) situations at once. When I get a spare moment from that, do you really believe I want to think? At all? Much less ponder the questions of the universe and mortality and whatever the hell else "real" writing is all about? No. At the end of the day, if I pick up your book, you'd better make me laugh. Or at the very least smile. No matter the genre, I want entertainment. And Roth certainly is correct to make the distinction. While Roth's writing might be interesting, it is certainly not entertaining.

But at least I'd call him a writer.

Making SENSE of it all

2009-10-22T10:54:00.000-05:00

For the last year or so, we've struggled to help our oldest daughter . . . cope. With everything. And anything. At first we thought maybe she had some ADD issues. She seems physically incapable of looking us in the eye when we speak to her, and don't even try to hold a linear conversation. But still, not worthy of any definitive diagnosis, so we tried a few tips for dealing with children with ADHD and helping them focus and stay organized. Some helped, some didn't. We tried diet changes. Omega-3 supplements. Nothing made a serious dent in the problem.

Then we tried the whole defiant child route. While it helped us get out of the yelling trap (or at least part of the way out of it), we were already doing many of the things they suggest, so that came up short as well.

Then I read up on Sensory Processing Disorder (used to be Sensory Integrations Dysfunction/Disorder, but SID was too close to SIDS). The more I read, the more it made sense. Weird things she did (the toe-walking for several years, without any short-tendon issues) and some things she did that we didn't consider a problem, but made sense we we looked at all of the pieces together. Here are just a few pieces of the puzzle:

Insists on wearing a jacket or sweatshirt even when it's ninety degrees outside.
Refuses to wear jeans, khaki pants, or anything that isn't soft knit material.
Screams when we trim her nails.
Can't stand to be touched. By anyone. Including us. Unless she's the one doing the touching.
As a baby, couldn't sleep, hated having her back rubbed but liked being patted.
Never wore socks or shoes, even in winter, and walked on her toes until, well, she still walks on her toes.
Had problems with certain food textures (mashed potatoes and mac & cheese were completely off limits) and is still extremely picky.
Mouths everything, even at six. Pencils, pieces of paper or tape, her poker chip rewards from karate, toys, and basically anything else that isn't food that could potentially choke her.
Got physically ill at a restaurant with soft music and people constantly walking around at the tables to bring meat, and she can't eat anywhere where the music is louder than say elevator volume.
Remember this nap mat?

I had no idea what was developmentally appropriate for my 6-yr-old. All I know is that while some of these issues have improved, many of the problems seem to be getting worse and new ones keep appearing. It has been explained to us that while most children her age will show some of these sensitivities, it is the combination of them and the degree to which she reacts to them that is key in suggesting a larger problem. For example, who really likes an itchy tag, right? But if I politely ask her to wear a pair of soft khaki pants with an elastic waist, she will have a complete meltdown for about an hour, hyperventilating and unable to speak or even begin to calm down until I hug her for several minutes.

The pediatrician confirmed that no, this is not normal. She said as long as it isn't interfering with her socially (um, debatable, but she's doing better this year and has a couple of little friends that she plays with in the classroom, even though outside at recess she prefers to play alone most days) or academically (doing great so far), that we'll just monitor and we can keep doing what we're doing. So far, that includes things like letting her wear her jacket or sweatshirt whenever she wants (keeps people from touching her skin or wind blowing across her arms) and wearing a headband in public places so she can pull it over her ears if it gets too noisy. Also, we've been reading Raising a Sensory Smart Child: The Definitive Handbook for Helping Your Child with Sensory Processing Issues
and so far it has a lot of useful tips and things to try as you help your child cope with their specific issues. It's a little overwhelming, because there's so much information, but it really does a great job of explaining the problems.

So, we keep doing what we're doing, and try to be as patient as possible with her. The pediatrician made the tiniest note in her file (I was not happy about it going in there, but she needed to put "possible SPD" in case it applied to any future problems and if anyone else examined her they would know) and she said that if the problems got worse or became overwhelming for us at home or interfered at school, then she could refer us to an occupational therapist to work with. For now, we're gonna do our reading and keep trucking ahead.

Here We Go Again

2009-10-12T14:41:00.002-05:00

I've made a couple decisions on the writing front.

1. I'm going to do a quick revision of the WIP and hand it off to some lovely readers. I'm not going to worry about those big problems I think are looming. I'll dress it up and see if the problems are as big as I think they are through someone else's eyes. By quick, I mean cleaning up a chapter each day. I'm finished the first two chapters, and honestly, it isn't nearly as bad as I thought. Still not where I want it to be, but I didn't want to throw up when I read it. That's good, right? So, I have until the end of October to do my quick revision and come up with a working title for the damn thing. I. Hate. Titles. Have I mentioned that before? And this one is giving me more trouble than most. Usually I can throw out something crappy and not worry, because I know it would just get retitled anyway if it were to actually go through any publication process. Still, I have a mental block with this one.

2. After I put that puppy to bed at the end of this month, it's NaNoWriMo time again!!! That gives me a couple of weeks to prepare (yes, WHILE I'm editing the other story), but it won't be so bad this time. You see, last year I started a new story not long before the 2008 NaNoWriMo. I abandoned it to jump on the November bandwagon with a brand new story. When I looked back over that one last week, I remembered how much I loved those characters, and I really want to write a story with them again. I already have 6,000 words of that story written, so I won't "officially" sign up with the NaNoWriMo people this time. I'll just do the challenge on my own, picking up where I left off (or starting it over again, I haven't decided and I won't until I read it over again next week) and keeping track of my progress here. But same pressure, same excitement, same, same, same.

And now I'm off to have a mini panic attack just for admitting my complete and total loss of sanity here.

Transitions

2009-10-08T11:27:00.005-05:00

I know I haven't posted in a while, but you see, I have these two little distractions.

I love that they actually hang out together now. Oh, not a lot, but just enough to be super cute. At least it's a nice glimpse of things to come. Oh, I know the fighting goes along with the playing (it's already here, actually), but the playing is so nice to see.

Do NOT be fooled by the long sleeves and the blanket. It's been in the lower nineties all week. The freaking LOW was 80 degrees. No, you did not misread that. And no, that is not normal for October. Fall? Yeah, right.

I'm also working some articles to send out, even though I'm not sure I really want to pick up the freelancing pace again. Harper isn't too sure about it either, because when I decide to write or send something out, she either refuses to nap or has a crying day or a nonpooping day or some other day that requires constant attention.

As for the current WIP, I'm not sure I can fix it. Even more important, I'm not sure I want to. I'm not sure if it's worth the massive repairs I think are required or if it's just stale and past it's expiration date. For now, I think I need to move on to something different, and make a date to look at this one again in a couple months. I'm thinking about doing NaNoWriMo again (never thought I'd be saying that this year), and while that keeps me busy I may let a couple of people read over the draft I just finished to see what they think.

Tomorrow, I'm off to the pumpkin patch with Ella's class (yep, the pumpkin patch in 90 degree weather). I can't believe the week has flown by. Heck, I'm still stunned that we're well into October already. Ugh, this time of year makes my head spin. Anyone else have big plans for the rest of the year?

Film Study: Dragon Sword

2009-09-24T12:51:00.006-05:00

The birthday celebrations are finally over, so now it's time to get cracking on the novel again. For now that means sketching a family tree; listing character names with major traits, goals, etc.; changing my female lead's name; and coming up with a working title, because "WIP" and "NaNo 08" just aren't gonna cut it much longer. Next week I'll take a bite out of that first scene and see what I can do from there.

Lately, I've been thinking about what makes a good story good, what makes a bad story bad, and, more importantly, what makes a bad story good. Let me explain. I watched a really bad movie yesterday, but for some reason I enjoyed the overall experience. I can't quite figure out why yet, but there must be some other reason besides it exceeding my low expectations. So, I'm thinking about other not-so-great movies that I enjoy. My absolute favorite right now is a little gem you can find on SciFi (excuse me, "Syfy" for those of you who like your channel abbreviations to remind you of venereal diseases) called "Dragon Sword." A.k.a. "George and the Dragon." If you've seen it, stop laughing at me. Just. Stop. If you haven't seen it, well, it's a sort of retelling of the story of St. George and the Dragon. There are a few reasons to which I could possibly contibute my obsession with this film:

I have a deep love for really bad sci-fi channel movies. Something I picked up from my dad, and I think he'd get a kick out of this one.
James Purefoy.*(*This isn't from "Dragon Sword." It's actually from "A Knight's Tale" which is another one of my favorites. Can't attribute my love for that one to Purefoy though, since he only appears for a few short minutes in the whole film.)
Tired of watching Dirty Dancing to mourn Patrick Swayze? Check out his medieval mullet and british accent (though Michael Clark Duncan's non-accent is even worse). Oh, it's loads of fun, and it's ok to laugh. I promise. Which leads us to the next reason.
I love a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. Yes, it's campy and it knows it. That's the beauty.

Now to switch my writing brain on . . .
What can I take from this to make my own writing better?

Forget suggesting I could write a fantasy genre story. I already have a few projects in mind, so that's a possibility for the future. Just not now.
I could ask James Purefoy to pose on the cover, Fabio-style. No? Didn't think so. I probably need to watch this again and do a character study to compare actor vs. character, and see what makes this guy so likeable in this story, because I just can't put my finger on it. I can't just say it's his charm or his smile, because I can't emulate that in writing. It just doesn't work the same way.
Ok, so I won't write any mullets or bad accents into my novel, but villains and side characters should be fun and interesting, even more so sometimes. Ever notice how the best actors always win the Best Supporting actor role? That's because Mercutio is ALWAYS more fun to play than Romeo. Same goes for Han and Luke.
Finally, there's always room to lighten things up. Although, you can go too far with this one and your story then seems forced and fake. But a writer and his/her characters can't take themselves too seriously.

Well, that was fun, and I have a lot to think about too. Now I'm off to make a character tree so I can keep all the names straight without relying on placeholders like [Evie's husband] or [ex's mother]. I just never allowed myself the time to dig through scenes looking for a name, because that just left the door open for all sorts of distractions. Place holders like that are great in a draft, but it's time for them to go.

Birthday Week

2009-09-21T09:53:00.004-05:00

Birthday Weeks take on a life of their own, don't they? 6 was no exception.

It began with a surprise at the bus stop Tuesday afternoon:

Yes, we are well aware that this is marketed as a "boy's" bike. You try to find a "girl's" bike in alien green or with lizards or snakes or dinosaurs on it. She loved it. End of story. Still searching for a matching helmet.

Friday, she had her first Tiny Tigers rank testing. Here's our new orange belt . . .

But the best part is the tiger tail!

Cute, huh? They get to wear them to class. Hopefully she actually focuses and doesn't play with it the whole time. If so, it's easily detachable.

Saturday morning, we hit the gym for her cousin's gymnastics birthday party, then we all headed back to my mom's house for a simple family gathering. And yes, there were dinosaurs.

Needless to say, no writing. But I knew that ahead of time. I have a few thoughts floating around, and this week I plan to grab a few of them and make a list of goals for this round of editing and prioritize. At least that's the plan. You know how that goes.

Dallas Pics

2009-09-21T09:31:00.004-05:00

Completely forgot to post these.

Both girls were outstanding on the eight hour trip. Even the trip back. That's saying a lot considering one is a ridiculously active toddler. No matter how long we stay, it always feels too short and we always feel like we're cramming way too much into one weekend. But the smiles were all worth it.

And the girls got along great. Night time was a bit of a pain. Ok, it was a MAJOR pain every night. She just couldn't settle, and fought like a crazy person until 9 or 10 every night no matter what we tried. The funniest was listening to her call for help from her crib. "Mommy." "Daddy." "Ella!" "Tippy?"

Then it got really interesting . . .

"Baby!"

"Puppy!"

Poor Ella actually asked to go to sleep most nights, which, if you know Ella, is simply unheard of. Harper snuggled in with Ella on this particular night and stole her Magic Tree House book.

On the last night, we finally managed to get all three girls together for a photo.

I know, a little too much cuteness, huh? Poor Ella wasn't feeling well at dinner, so she hit the pajamas a little earlier than everyone else.

Harper was just completely obsessed with her baby cousin. Itty bitty fingers and all.

6 is Good

2009-09-15T08:13:00.003-05:00

6 is kind of sassy, too.

I noticed during our trip to Dallas last weekend, that my little girl wasn't behaving so much like a little girl anymore. She's always been a force, held her own strong likes, dislikes, and opinions. But she has changed in the last year.

Last year's favorite color = red.
This year = alien green.

Last year's obsession = dinosaurs
This year = lizards, snakes, sharks, and dinosaurs

Last year = hated school, her classmates, and everything else in the world
This year = Begs to leave early to wait for the bus each day, has best friends, and loves karate

Yep, 6 is definitely good.
Happy Birthday, Big Girl!!!

Done.

2009-09-11T14:23:00.002-05:00

Completed the draft today. Finally.

Done.

The End.

101,814 words.

Now to celebrate and take a little break before I begin editing in a week or so.

Short and Sweet

2009-09-09T10:23:00.002-05:00

Got back from Dallas (visiting my sister and her husband and their baby girl) yesterday evening.

Half of one of our trees fell on the neighbor's garage at 4am.

Welcome home.

I'll upload pictures from the weekend and have a better update later.

That Crazy Kid

2009-09-03T12:53:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty certain it's this sort of thing that's been keeping me busy lately.

That's not even her cup. She found a straw and brought it up there with her. Ella likes to shout out, "Godzilla's on the table again!" But you can substitute anything for "table," like piano, or bar, or fish tank.

But she loves her big sister. She wakes up from her nap everyday shouting Ella's name, because she knows it's time to wait for her at the bus stop. A few days ago, she missed her so much that she went through the laundry and dressed just like her.

I guess she figured if she wore her school uniform she could go to school with her.

Ok, much to do, much to do. I just finished sewing a gift for Ella (pictures to come later) and I wanted to get some pictures off my camera.
Just a couple of scenes left on the novel . . .

I Just Don't Want It To End

2009-08-30T14:39:00.002-05:00

I never thought I'd come to this point. You see, with most projects, I've given up somewhere short of the ending. Even with the one draft of another novel that I actually completed, it had been poorly constructed and didn't have a proper climax. And this novel is much different. It has a suspense plot line, so it has a clear, powerful climax. What does that mean? Oh. My. Word. So much freaking fun to write. I'm so fired up writing this particular chapter that I could probably have sat up and written the whole thing one night and made some serious progress and then been done with the whole thing by now. But I didn't want to. I've been dragging out this chapter, one short scene at a time, because I just don't want it to end. And now I'm down to one last scene, and then all that will be left is the resolution. To wrap up the boring loose ends and export the file from Scrivener to a Word file for editing later. Boooring.

So I'm torn.

But it's official.

I'll be done in just a few short days.

Did I mention . . . ?

2009-08-27T13:30:00.002-05:00

Did I mention that I've come to a decision about this blog? First, let me begin by saying that it isn't gong anywhere. For years it's been this haven for my focus-deprived brain, allowing me a place to spew randomness. I try to reign it in and be more topical . . . just a writing blog, or just a personal/family blog, or any number of other things . . . but it never stuck, mainly because that just isn't me. So for now it just is what it is. Later, perhaps when the little one begins school, I think it may cease to include the kids and maybe one day morph into just a writing blog. But that day is not today. In fact, I am making a commitment to get back to some sort of regular blogging "routine" because I find I feel better after I write a post. I just need to get strict with myself about setting time limits and always get my other writing done first before I even think about stepping onto the internet.

Oh, and did I also mention that I will be blogging other places again as well? The craft blog remains quiet for the moment, but since football season is upon us, I have revived and revamped
the football blog. Why? Because damn it, it's just fun. And fun is good.
So if you're a football fan or Saints fan and have some time to kill, run over to Saints Rants and say hi. Just a warning though . . . that blog is where my potty mouth goes to wreak havoc. Yeah, you just thought I was crass here.

Fantastic Flax

2009-08-26T14:00:00.002-05:00

We've made a breakthrough. Not ONLY have we had the car-seat-turning-around-party for the almost 20 mo. old, but we think we've also licked the poop problem. (Ew, gross I know, but I like the sound of it, so I'm not editing that sentence. Deal with it.) After trying more liquids and fruit and everything else (the kid already eats mostly fruit and beans and vegetables anyway), cutting out cheese and white rice and even white flour for a while, and trying potty time with the cutest little froggy potty, our little angel STILL refused to poop. So, I reluctantly put her on mineral oil, as advised by our pediatrician. But mineral oil is not a long term solution, and every time we tried to wean her off of it, she just started the whole cycle again. The pediatrician said she'd never seen a kid quite so stubborn at such a young age (we've been battling this since she was about 15 months old). I wanted to try flax oil from the beginning, but I could find it locally. Even in the store that has everything else and I get all my wonderful essential oils and homeopathic stuff. Why couldn't I find it. Duh. It requires refridgeration. Found it! So, we've switched her over to that and only one teaspoon a day does the trick. In fact, it might be too much now, so I'll cut back to half pretty soon. I'm so excited and relieved that we've found something healthy and natural that actually provides nutrients, instead of taking them away or being some weird foreign contaminant.

So if anyone is on the Miralax diet with their kid (Harper wasn't even old enough to try that yet), give flax oil a try. Awesomeness, I tell you!!!

In other news . . . chugging along with the novel. At the rate of a scene a day (which is what I'm averaging anyway), I'll finish it about a week from now. Which is actually perfect timing. I have a nice, long, relaxing weekend planned to completely forget about it for a few days. Then I'll have a fresh perspective to begin revisions the week after. Choo-choo . . .

I Found It!

2009-08-19T13:48:00.002-05:00

I've been waiting and waiting for this day. As I've been approaching the end of this draft, I've been waiting for that last surge of adrenaline to kick in. In the beginning your head is full of ideas, and you spit out the first 25% in a flash, but the middle 50%, the saggy middle, just sucks you down and drags on endlessly. But everyone says that when you round that last corner, when you can see the end in sight, you get a burst of energy and that last 25% just shoots right out of you.

. . . or so they say . . .

I've been waiting quite impatiently for this to happen, and in the meantime I've been trudging along, diligently writing my 1,000 or so words each day. Today it hit me. I flew through two scenes and I'm ready to finish out this chapter by Friday, leaving only the last act - the last three short chapters. And I should be well over my 100,000 word goal, so I'll have plenty of cushion to play around with. I have an idea of which scenes and characters will need to be cut which will make room for some extra descriptions I need to fill in mostly in the first half of the novel. So, things are moving along.

What I Learned This Summer

2009-08-12T14:02:00.005-05:00

1. Never underestimate the little one.

At a little after 15 months, Harper reached for the spoon one meal. Instantly, she scooped a bite and put it in her mouth. Like a freaking pro. Sure, we have messes when she decides to use her fingers mid-meal, but for the most part there was virtually no learning curve with the whole self-feeding thing. She continues to amaze us daily.

2. Ella is not a Girly-Girl. And she reminds me of this on a regular basis. And I am totally fine with it. Except that her list of passions includes dinosaurs, snakes, lizards, and now . . . sharks. But I did learn that my non-girly-girl will absolutely wear a skirt if her mommy made it in her favorite color and she can wear it with dirty, old sneakers. Love it.

3. My girls can actually play together and snuggle like real sisters. But the following serene moment was surely followed by hours of screaming and screeching.

And yes, that's Harper in training pants . . . which leads me to the next one . . .

4. I cannot even think about potty training until Ella is in school

5. I should never ever think I can screw around with a baking recipe. In case you weren't sure, I clearly don't follow directions well.

That's strawberry bread that I added bananas to, because I thought that sounded good. The outsides burned and the middle caved in, completely raw. This is why this isn't a baking blog, people.

6. This is how my kids like to eat:

Healthy, and fun and colorful, and so what if my kid is on the lower end of the growth chart if she eats like this until she's full. Ella's the same way, and I'm now having to relearn how to cook for her as well as all sorts of other things. It seems she has some sensory issues, which we've always known, but we never connected some of the dots, and now it all finally seems to make sense. More on that another day.

7. I can do messy.

An old vinyl tablecloth, old t-shirts, and a messy craft absolutely allow mommy time to cook dinner a few feet away. Why did I not figure this out before now?

This is totally Harper.

And this is totally Ella, too.

8. Never ever try to homeschool with a toddler. Ok, maybe you can, and we could too if I weren't trying to write during nap times. June was great. I'd put Harper in the playpen for a short time while Ella and I did lessons at the table or sat at the piano together., and everything else we just fit in here and there. Then, by the end of June, Harper climbed out of the playpen and it was game off. We couldn't do crap without her in the middle of it. Forget giving her a project of her own. She wanted whatever Ella had and she would not accept substitutes. So during July we just hung out and did a whole lot of nothing. But that's ok too, I suppose.

9. I absolutely can finish this novel. I'm not there yet, but I'm really close to finishing this draft. Then the next round of edits will be fun.

10. All good things come to an end. And with the end of summer, I might actually recover some sanity. But once again, it's time to regroup and reorder our days. For now, even though it's only mid-August, it's au revoir to the summer for us!

Endangered Species

2009-08-07T09:17:00.002-05:00

Where have all the bloggers gone,
Gone to Facebook and Twitter,
Every one.

(Yes, I heard a LOT of folk music as a kid.)

At the risk of sounding hypocritical, I've noticed a major shift in the posts that pop up in my feed reader. I have a lot more news-type subscriptions, for two reasons. One, it's training camp time (FINALLY) so I have to keep up with my Saints news. Two, I'm keeping up with freelance markets and job postings again in an effort to get all that started again. Karate doesn't come cheap (more on that later). But while I'm adding to my subscriptions, my list of posts isn't growing, in fact, I think it's shrinking. Sure, I still get my daily dose of craft/sewing pictures and tutorials and all that fun stuff. And the organizing/home management blogs are still flourishing. But everything else is . . . disappearing.

Can we blame Facebook and Twitter? Sure. Why not. I find myself guilty, too. I may not have the energy or time to write up a nice, coherent post complete with witty remarks and pictures, but I can update my status or check look at cute pictures of my niece for about five minutes.

On one hand, I'm cranky about it the same way I'm cranky about all the new pimped out cell phones. I mean, really. You can't wait in line or in a waiting room for five freaking minutes without NEEDING to play a game or check the weather or whatever? Then on the the other hand, it's really nice to keep in touch with people on a regular basis that I've been ignoring for years. Ok, maybe not ignoring, but you know what I mean.

So, where does that leave us? Not really sure. For now, I'm keeping the blog. I think I've already retired the Saints blog without realizing it, and I'm afraid the craft blog may be next to go. I'm sad just thinking about it, but who has the time to write three blogs, finish a novel, restart a freelance career, AND raise two kids? Forget a clean, orderly house. That's just insanity. Aside from that, I have no plans. Except maybe to post the pictures still on my camera from the last few weeks. After that . . . who knows . . .

Been A While

2009-07-28T10:06:00.002-05:00

I know, I know. I've been absent. I'm currently working on the 4th computer in the last 2-3 weeks. You know, reformatting, wiping out nastiness, the whole bit. But not my computer. Nope, my sexy little MacBook is just fine. You know, just in case any of you were considering a Mac. And I don't want to hear any Mac-bashing from all of you tools out there with iphones in your pockets. Seriously, can you see the ridiculousness of that? Anyway, my computer is clean and healthy and all my work and files are perfectly fine.

I'm just saying.

We've also been taking Ella to karate to try it out. So far, she's absolutely loving it. At this point, it's either foot the bill for karate, or pay for therapy. For me. Karate it is. We're just taking advantage of our free trial month right now to make sure the thrill doesn't wear off.

Yesterday Ella and I went school supply shopping. Exhausting. I love buying school supplies, but this year it just wasn't as much fun. Although Ella and I had a good time together. Until she took her shoes off in the middle of a store and refused to walk another step. *sigh*

Today I'm waiting for the air conditioner guy to show up. Past due on making that call. But it's a good day for it, because I might as well wait for them while I'm doing computer installs and cleaning the house and washing clothes. Can't do much else anyway on those days. With everything else, I haven't written much the last couple of weeks. But I'm not terribly worried. I'll get things together today and tomorrow and get my butt back in gear, so I'll be rocking and rolling with that novel in no time. I have to. I'm almost done.

So, more interesting posts soon . . . I promise.

Indoor Fun

2009-07-10T08:08:00.004-05:00

With the ridiculous heat wave we'd been fighting for most of June, the kids weren't allowed outside for more than half an hour in the morning, except for our weekend water play sessions when Daddy was home to give a hand. That left us with a lot of time indoors to fill up. Here are a couple of heat wave activities we found to amuse ourselves.

Stick Your Head In The Oven Until You Can't Get It Out

I really wish this super cute picture wasn't followed by Harper shoving her head into the much smaller space underneath the oven opening. I almost had to make a call for help. Luckily I managed to pull on the two sides just enough to grab her head and kind of push/yank it out without any resulting spinal injuries.

Fun times.

Hallway Hopscotch

A little masking tape kept them busy just long enough for me to fix dinner one day. I swear, that magical masking tape is my new bestest friend.

Sisters Don't Let Sisters Do Their Hair

This has to be one of Ella's favorite things to do with Harper. And Harper, who will not sit still for me to put one clip in her hair, will sit all day for Ella to dress her up.

That's all for today. Hopefully we don't have to pull out those tricks again any time soon. I never thought I'd be so excited to see 95 degrees on a thermometer.

Summer Homeschooling: Dinos & Spain

2009-07-07T14:07:00.003-05:00

What can I say? My kid loves dinosaurs. By age two, she knew the real names and the specifics on more dinosaurs than I ever knew existed. By age six, she's forgotten more than I could ever remember. So, dinosaur exploration is an ongoing thing around here. Here are a couple of things we worked on, and we still have a few projects left to complete this month.

Fossil Casts from That Artist Woman

A page from her dinosaur booklet, courtesy of learningpages.com

We also learned a good bit about Spain. While the idea of a daily siesta sounded fabulous, Ella and I both agreed that having to get our butts up and head back to school/work until some ridiculously late hour just make it worth the trouble. And dinner at 10pm? I'm asleep by then sometimes. Then again, I don't get a nap. Excuse me, a siesta.

On the menu:

Tapas - our own version with stuffed musshrooms, shrimp & bacon, and fruit

Paella - basically like our Cajun version of jambalaya, but with different spices; worked out much better as a quick, easy rice cooker recipe. One pot, thirty minutes . . . can't argue with that.

At bat . . . more dinos, space, and New Zealand

Five Years

2009-07-03T07:33:00.003-05:00

More Soon . . .

2009-07-02T09:18:00.003-05:00

I have a camera filled with pictures. And I have more to say than that it's just freaking hot. I swear. But since I spent the entire day yesterday back and forth to the pediatrician's office waiting for the little kid to pee in a bag only to find out she's perfectly fine. We're still waiting on the "official" lab results this morning, but, of course, she's perfectly symptom-free today. The day AFTER we waste an entire day on this nonsense. But whatever.

So, today is yet another catch-up day. Cleaning, laundry, writing, and playing with both kids.
Tomorrow this blog will have pictures and a lot less rambling.

Tomorrow.

Promise.

Progress and a Playdate

2009-06-26T14:44:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it actually hit 102 the other day (it was still 100+ degrees at 6pm), then 101 the next day. Still 98 today, but it's at least a little better. I actually see rain and low-nineties in the forecast for Monday, but that seems oh so far away when you have an undersized air conditioner and an underinsulated attic. But that's not the progress I wanted to talk about . . .

75,000

It feels like such a magical number. That would mean 75% of this draft is complete, but there are several scenes later in the novel that are included in that word count but that need to be rewritten. (Gosh that was an awkward sentence. Exceuse me. Deciding not to rewrite it. Too tired. I used all my good words for the day.) I have six chapters left to write/rewrite. Still, I feel fantastic. I fell like I've made it over some invisible hump. 50-75k was tough. I hadn't figured a lot out, and I had to deal with things I'd been avoiding and make the whole damn thing . . . work. But even though it was tough, I found a comfortable working pace for myself. And a good working time. I'm averaging about an hour a day, and about 1,000 words in that hour. And they aren't just terrible, awful random words. Not final draft or even third draft quality words, but at least I know I won't have to rewrite every awful word on every page. I feel comfortable and confident, which is a good place to be.
But that's today.
Don't ask me how I feel tomorrow.

Today, we had a playdate. Oh, but not just for the kiddos. No, mama secretly organized this one for herself. I invited our playgroup over to share crafting/sewing ideas, for a little grown up show & tell. It was great to have other moms to talk to (in person), because I haven't getting out a much with the two, and when we do get out I'm usually chasing them around and don't get a chance to chat. I saw some cute things the other moms have made, and I have even more ideas for things I'd like to make when I take a writing break.

The kids were invited, and Ella and Harper each had friends to play with. Harper, who's having a bad week with teething, screamed, hit, and would not share her toys or her mommy. Ella, on the other hand, who is having a bad . . . um . . . well, a bad year, behaved like the perfect little hostess. She asked the other kids what they wanted to play, made sure they had snacks, and took care of all their needs. Without incident. She even told me afterwards that she was sad they left, and she's already asking when we can do that again. Soon, baby girl. Soon.

And with that, I leave you with another bit of progress on the Ella front. Here's a conversation we had while watching a gymnastics movie last night:

Ella: I don't want to fall.
Me: Well, that's part of gymnastics. You still want to try gymnastics?
Ella: Yes, but I don't want to flip.
Me: Well, then maybe you should try another sport.
Ella: I don't want to do any sports. I'm not good at sports.
Me: That's why you practice. Like the piano. You get better when you practice, right?
Ella: Yes.
Me: But you don't have to do a sport if you don't want to. What type of activity would you like to try?

(she thinks for a moment)

Ella: I think I'd like to try karate.

(she shows me a few of her best karate moves while I finish making our movie night popcorn)

Me: Why do you think you'd like karate?
(I ask this only because of the whole not flipping in gymnastics thing)
Ella: I think it will help get the meanies out.
Me: What?
(I ask her a few more times just to make sure I understood correctly)
Ella: I can get the meanie worms out of me.

(I stared at my little girl, shocked that she alone came up with such an adult solution to a problem we've been struggling with for months.)

Me: You know, I'm very proud of you. That's a very grown up thing to figure out. And yes, I think it will help you, too.

(Ella nods.)

Me: But can we not tell people you have meanie worms, ok?

Wow. Just. Wow.

2009-06-24T16:09:00.002-05:00

101.

Freaking 101 degrees. We're under order to turn up our air conditioners and turn everything else off (I'm typing on what's left of my laptop's battery power) to avoid rolling blackouts. I'd much rather run my air at 82 degrees (that's all it can keep up with anyway, any lower and it doesn't shut off for like six hours) than risk having no air conditioning, but tell that to all the businesses that keep their units set at 50-degrees or some other ridiculous temperature. I remember having to carry a jacket around with my during summer school at the university because it was always ridiculously cold. Then they had the nerve to complain about their utility bill on the news one night. Ha. I laugh. Ha. Ok, I'm just delirious from the heat, but it is ridiculous, isn't it?

I did not make 75k this weekend, but we had a good weekend. And I mapped out several chapters (I can see the forest AND the trees now!), so that counts. And today I wrote a massive scene. Things are chugging along on the ol' progress meter.

Pushing Forward

2009-06-19T13:54:00.002-05:00

Lost some writing time this week, but I'm still moving ahead. I did spend a good chunk of my writing block / the kids' naptime rearranging a few scenes and trying to come up with a way to make these three chapters work. I think I have a better picture of how things will fall into place now. All that's left is to write it. That's all. I have almost 70,000 words now, and I want to get close to 75,000 words by the end of this weekend. Phew. Not sure how doable that is, but it's a goal.

Happy Father's Day weekend to everyone!

Catch-Up Week

2009-06-16T15:29:00.002-05:00

I've been fighting migraines (among other things) all week. So I really don't have much to post. I'll do a homeschool update next weekend, because we're playing catch-up this week. My writing progress bar is moving along, but I'm on a roll and don't feel like chatting about it at the moment. But I'll have an update on that soon. For now, I have to turn the bright computer screen off and try to calm the screaming banshees.